5 Ways to Encourage Your Husband Today

5 Ways to be Your Husband’s Best Friend

Best friends.

We've all heard that husbands and wives should be best friends.  But how does that actually play out in real life?

You might want to be best friends with your husband but you lack the knowledge to do so.

I talked this post over with my husband before I wrote it because I wanted to be 100% sure that what I was writing was something with which he would agree!

Together we came up with these 5 Ways To Be Your Husband's Best Friend.

1. Laugh with him.

When you're out with your girlfriends no doubt there is a good deal of laughter that goes on.  You enjoy each other's company and you're naturally going to smile and laugh with each other.

But it goes to a whole deeper level when you're laughing with the one who is also the love of your life.

My husband and I share a million and one inside jokes.  We're always cracking up at what seems to others as random moments.  But we each know without even looking at the other what the other one is thinking.

It's funny.  And it's beautiful.

2. Grow in Christ together.

My closest friends throughout the years have been those with whom I share a spiritual bond.  Those with whom I've shared my prayer requests, no matter how big or little.  Those who aren't afraid to give me a spiritual kick in the tail when I'm off track.  Those who challenge and edify me through our conversations.

A husband and wife who want to be the best of friends will also help one another grow in Christ.  They'll pray together.  They'll share with the other what the Lord has been teaching them through their personal quiet time.  They'll ask the other for help when they're having trouble overcoming a certain character flaw.

3. Spend time with him.

Quality time together is one of the foundations of friendship, isn't it?

Why then do so many husbands and wives neglect to set aside regular time to date one another – to make time to talk about something other than which bills need to be paid and what time Johnny needs to be at soccer practice?

Do you know your husband's hopes and dreams?  Have you spent enough time with him to find out?

I get that life is busy, but you truly have time for what you make time for.  Make time for your husband.  Get creative.  (Here are 25 Stay-at-home Date Night Ideas if you need some help, then scroll down for a super-fun date night giveaway!)

4. Bear his burdens.

I'm not talking about major tragedies that couples might face.  Of course you're going to bear that burden with him. I'm talking about the little things.

When your husband comes home from work frustrated because he didn't have a productive day, give him a shoulder rub and tell him you're sorry.  Don't roll your eyes and say “Oh yeah?  Well let me tell you about my day!”

5. Enjoy physical touch

Physical intimacy in the bedroom should be just that – intimate.  Rather than succumbing to the temptation to make it a purely physical act, strive to connect on an emotional and even spiritual level.

Little touches throughout the day also tell the other person, “I enjoy being around you.  You're special to me.  You're my best friend and there's no one I'd rather be with right now.”

What other ways can you think of to be your husband's best friend?

For some awesome, inspirational reading, I recommend the following books:

100 Ways to Love Your Husband: A Life-Long Journey of Learning to Love (by Lisa Jacobson)

Marriage Advice to the Woman in a Good Marriage

I've not written a whole lot about marriage here.  Most — not all, but most — of my posts are borne out of whatever I'm personally reflecting on at the moment.  A lot of that has to do with the struggles of motherhood. That is something that is immensely more difficult than I ever imagined!

But marriage has never been all that difficult.  We're not perfect, but it's not something that my husband and I struggle with.  He's a good man!  We always seem to be on the same wavelength, so arguments…I mean, disagreements…are not something that frequently occurs.  It's pretty smooth sailing between the two of us most of the time, therefore I've never felt like I had a ton of stuff to write about from personal experience.

But yesterday I realized I had an important message to share.  To myself first of all, then to all the other ladies who are living in a non-difficult marriage.

So here it is: Marriage Advice to the Woman In a Good Marriage

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“Why is he so grouchy?” I wondered.  “He's usually only grouchy when he has a headache, and I don't think he does today.”

I began to ponder what the problem could be.  Before too long the light bulb went off.  Stress!  My husband is under a lot of stress!  And what have I been doing to help him?  Pretty much nothing.

When you're married to a good man, it becomes easy to start expecting him to be a good man.  I mean, that's just what he does. He helps me with the laundry, speaks tenderly and lovingly to me (and tries to understand my crazy womanly ways!), and plays with the kids.  He works hard to provide for his family, keeps things repaired around the house, and serves at church in whatever ways he can.

He does all of these things faithfully.  He's so good to me and the children; I couldn't ask for a better man!

But I've taken it for granted.

I haven't needed “marriage advice” because we don't argue.  We try to serve one another in the home.  We understand each other.

But there are some things I've neglected to do this for this wonderful man of mine.

1. Pray for him faithfully.

It took some stress in his life for me to realize that I've not been praying for my husband like I should.  But my husband needs God's power and protection on his life when times are tough and when the path is smooth.  I shouldn't have waited until he was under pressure to pray for him.  I should be praying more than just “help my husband to have a good day”.  I should be fervently praying.  Satan wants to destroy the lives of God's children, and that includes my husband.  (One of my contributors came up with a printable prayer calendar for your husband if you'd like to use it for some ideas of specific things to pray.)

2. Thank him.

It's easy to start taking for granted all the things my husband does.  But I don't like to be taken for granted.  Sure, it's my job to clean the house, make the meals, and take care of the kids all day.  But that doesn't mean it's not hard work.  And I sure do like it when my husband thanks me for supper and gives me some recognition for the hard work I've done that day.  I'm sure some appreciation shown to my husband for the hard work he does for our family would be an encouragement to him too.

3. Encourage him.

Words of appreciation would be encouragement in and of themselves, but I can also let him know I'm praying for him, jot down words or verses of encouragement, and be excited for him when he has a great day at work.  (I can also be ready with a shoulder massage and sympathetic ear when he's not had such a great day.)

4. Help him.

What can I do to take some of the load off his shoulders?  Is there a responsibility around the house that I'm capable of taking care of?  Sometimes I can't think of anything to do, so I simply ask him, “Is there anything I can do for you tomorrow?”  Often he will have something that he's happy for me to take care of that I didn't even know he needed to do.  Sometimes it's an errand to run, sometimes a bill to pay — little annoying things that hang over his head, especially when he's super busy at work and feeling the pressure of getting it all done while still having time to spend with his family.

Dear friend, even if you have a great marriage, there is always room for improvement!  What can you do for your husband today?

One Easy Way to Strengthen Your Marriage (Imperfect Homemaking Challenge)

Last week I talked about how you can strengthen your marriage by showing your husband that you love him.  It's important to keep the spark of romance alive in your marriage, even (especially!) when life is crazy busy.

One simple way to do that is to flirt with your husband.

Bringing up inside jokes, playing footsie under the table, flicking water at him as you're washing dishes — these are all subtle little ways to say “I love you; you're my best friend; and I enjoy being with you!”

We are a very frugal family, never (or hardly ever!) spending money unnecessarily and considering each purchase very carefully.  Because of that, I don't have a smartphone. (Yes, I confess.  My Instagram photos aren't always “instant”.  I wait until my husband comes home with his smartphone from work.)  For the longest time I did not have unlimited texting on my phone either.  Finally, after much consideration, we decided to pay a little extra each month for unlimited texts on my phone. That was mainly because we hadn't yet caught up to the rest of the world technologically and it was frustrating for people who's primary mode of communication was texting not to be able to text me.

But the unlimited texting came with an unexpected perk.

Now I've got all day access to my husband, and I can “spend time” with him much more often than I used to!

Whereas before I couldn't exactly call him at work, I can send him texts to let him know I'm thinking about him.  And let me tell you, the inside jokes and the flirting roll back and forth all day long!  To be honest, that new phone plan has strengthened our marriage due to our being able to connect with each other more often.

Today's Challenge: Flirt with your husband.  Maybe you'll want to send him a text or write him a love note.  Maybe you'll choose something else.  But do something!

Instagram challenge: Ya'll.  Please.  Let's keep this one private.  😉

If you’re just joining the 31 Days of Imperfect Homemaking series, you can see all the posts here.

25 Stay-At-Home Date Night Ideas

For many of you, paying a babysitter is not in the budget, so you skip out on dating your spouse.  But you don't have to!  Here are 25 stay-at-home date night ideas that hardly cost anything and will give you and your spouse the opportunity to communicate and strengthen your bond.

Plan ahead for which night you want to have your date, feed the kids an early supper and put them to bed early.  Then you can do one of the following:

1. Light a fire in the fireplace or light a bunch of candles.  Have an indoor picnic by the fire.

2. Make cookies together and eat them warm right out of the oven.

3. Snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.  Treat yourself to your favorite snacks while you watch.

Below are some fantastic suggestions for good movies to watch as a couple:

4. Play board games together.

Don't have any 2 player games? Check the widget below for some suggestions!

5. Read a book aloud to each other.

6. Eat a candlelit dinner.

7. Work on a home improvement project together.

8. Work out together.

9. Play video games together and enjoy the competition.

10. Watch a sports game.

11. Set up a pair of chairs in the backyard and stick your feet in the kiddie pool.

12. Make breakfast for dinner and have breakfast in bed.

13. Take a walk around the backyard.

14. Watch your wedding video.

15. Look at old pictures.

16. Watch home movies of the kids.

17. Read your love notes from when you were dating.

18. Dream and make plans for the future.

19. Do a puzzle together.

20. Have a spa night.  Pamper each other with massages or pedicures.

21. Do brain teasers together.  See who can solve them the fastest.

22. Read the Bible and pray together.

23. Sit outside and look at the stars.

24. Make a fire in the backyard and roast marshmallows.

25. Take an online class together.

Do you have any other great ideas for stay-at-home dates?

A Love Story {Part 3}

If you didn't get a chance to read parts 1 and 2, you can go back and do that now. {Part 1; Part 2}

We didn't begin dating right away.  In fact, under the leadership of my “special friend”, we took things very slowly at first.

After our first day of classes, we both headed toward the cafeteria for lunch.  I didn't know if we were going to sit together or not, but we had just gotten out of a class and had walked to the cafeteria together, so we were next to each other in line.  After we got our food, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do.  Was he expecting me to sit with him or not?

He was standing there looking for a place to sit, so I just stood next to him and waited.  He finally said, “I don't want to sit together until I've had a chance to talk to your dad.”

“Um.  Yeah.  Sure.  Okay.”  I mumbled awkwardly as I found a place to sit by myself.

Thankfully he didn't wait too long before he got around to asking my dad if it would be okay for us to eat meals together and spend a few minutes talking alone every day.

Over the next semester, most of our communication was spent over a quick meal and through tons and tons of little notes.  He was carrying  a full load of classes and working a full-time 3rd shift job.  He didn't have much time left for me, but somehow he made time to write me notes all the time and leave little prizes in my mailbox (chocolates, mostly – he was a smart fellow!)

In spite of the fact that we were “taking it slow”, there were a couple not-so-subtle hints that there was a whole lot more to it than that.

Like the time I wrote him a silly note for fun that said “I like you.  Do you like me?  Check yes or no.”  He checked “no”, handed it back, and said “Interpret that how you may.”  Hmm….

Or the time he checked my box before I did, found an informational survey in there and filled it out for me.  On the space marked “Anniversary”, he filled in Summer ?????.    Hmmm again…

I didn't remember this, but in looking through our box of notes and letters, it was pretty obvious that by Christmas break (about 4 months) we had some pet names for each other.  (None of your business what they were!)

Our box of notes and letters

When Christmas break came, it seemed like it would last forever, even though it was only a few weeks.  I bought a couple cards to send him, but my Dad saw them and nixed them.  I guess they were a little too mushy.  🙂

We did manage to fit in a few phone calls over the break.

One phone call in particular was extremely memorable…

To be continued…