When You Sacrifice the Present for a Future Dream

Dreams are a beautiful thing.  Without them life would be a bit stagnant, don't you think?

It's important to challenge ourselves to work toward something – a financial goal, a fitness goal, a household project  – and then to dream about how reaching that goal will make our life better.

But what if your attention gets focused on that dream and you completely lose sight of the present?

This blog earns a little bit of money for our family.  What a blessing to be able to sit down and write the things that are on my heart and then to see trickles of money coming in because of it!

At the beginning of last year, I set what I thought was a completely laughable goal for what I hoped this blog would earn for our family for the year.  But God has ways of surprising us, and the goal was met above and beyond.

Knowing how much had come in without my even trying, I set some much bigger goals for this year and tried to be a little bit more intentional about reaching them.

We have family dreams, and we're using the income from this blog to hopefully reach them one day.  We dream of owning a larger house where we can all fit inside without tripping over each other and getting irritated because of it.  We dream of owning property where the kids can run and play freely without fear of being run over by a car.

Knowing the potential income there is in blogging, the fulfillment of those dreams seems quite near, especially if I keep working on the plans I've laid.

But I keep coming back to this thought:

I don't want to sacrifice the present for a future dream.

I don't want to be so full of starry-eyed dreams of spacious houses and country property that I ignore the very thing that would make that house and property so precious – the people living there.

The thing that makes dreams so special is the people that are in them.

I don't want to use up all my days working toward a future dream when the present is passing me by each hour.

Each hour that passes while I create products and answer emails and crunch numbers is an hour that my children have grown older.  It's an hour that I missed playing catch and reading books and taking walks.

It's an hour that I can never retrieve.

I don't think anyone should abandon their dreams and stop reaching for goals.  If we reach our family goals, it will actually enable us to spend more time together as a family.  There is even the possibility that my husband could quit his job and we could work together on homeschooling and running this website.

But that's in the future.  And in the meantime I can't bring myself to give up precious hours with my children just to reach that goal.

So I'll keep reaching for that goal – one teeny, tiny, sparest-of-spare moments at a time.  But I won't allow it to take over my days or preoccupy my thoughts.

I don't know what your dream is – maybe it's getting a work-at-home business off the ground, growing your blog a little bigger, writing a book – but is it worth the sacrifice of the present?

Will you wish someday that you hadn't made your dreams so much of a priority that you sacrificed the present?

Will you realize that you had been present physically but your mind was far away as you made goals and plans?

Why don't you change course before it's too late?

Don't find yourself wishing you could go back and relive the hours you wasted.

You may never live to see the future, so what is the sense in living there?

Be present in the present.

Easy Turkey Craft for Kids

When we do crafts around here, easy is the #1 requirement!

With Thanksgiving coming up, this easy turkey craft fits the bill!

• Small paper plate
• Construction paper
• Brown tempera paint
• Googly eyes
• Glue
• Scissors
• Paint brushes

Dear Christian Teens: Do you Know the Truth About Purity?

Dear Christian teens,

Even though I don't yet have teens of my own, I have the privilege of working with some of you at church and I love you as if you were my own.

I came across an article today that really bothered me.  I realized just how loudly unbiblical messages are being shouted at you, and I want to counteract that with the truth.

A mother was writing about why she keeps a giant box of condoms available to her teenagers.  She thinks it's sweet and all when a teenager makes a promise that he will keep himself (or herself) pure, but she knows what's really going to happen.  She'd rather her teens be “protected” when they inevitably give in to the lust burning within them, so she gives her teens and their friends condoms as a “back-up plan” for when they just can't keep that purity vow.

And what bothered me all the more was to see mother after mother commenting in hearty agreement.  “That's right!  I'd rather my child wait until they're married, but since I know they won't I want to make sure they're protected!”

Don't listen to that garbage, dear teenager.

The world says you're not capable of having any self-control.  The world says that when you make a promise there's no way you'll keep it.

But God says differently.

• God says that young people can be an example of Godly living, and He even specifically mentions the area of purity! Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. I Timothy 4:12
  

• When Daniel was taken as a captive to Babylon and commanded to eat the king's meat that had been offered to idols, he made a promise to God and to himself that he would not defile himself with the king's meat.  He counted the cost and determined that he would do right no matter the cost.  And he knew very well that the price would be far more than being made fun of by his friends or “missing out” on indulging his flesh.  The cost for Daniel could likely have been death.  But he did what he had determined to do – and he was only a teen!

• When Nebuchadnezzar made a giant statue of himself and commanded everyone to bow to it, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused.  Three teenagers were able and willing to face certain death because they loved and served the God of the Bible.  The world says it's impossible for teens to do right, but these three Hebrew boys prove that you can do right.  Your faith can be just as strong as that of any adult.

• Joseph was only 17 when he was taken to Egypt and sold to Potiphar.  He would have been at the prime age for physical desires to be their strongest when Potiphar's wife repeatedly tried to coerce him to lie with her.  His answer?  “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”  He refused, and when she tried to force him he ran from the temptation!
  

Young people, you can do right!

The world says it's impossible to keep yourself pure – that you might as well just give up before you start.

The world says you need to be taught “safe sex” because abstinence is impossible.

Don't listen to those lies!  Listen to God.  Study his Word and then choose to obey it through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The Strongest Voice in the Room

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by WORLD News Group.

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(Click to tweet that! ^ )

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5 Reasons You’re a Grumpy Mom (And What You Can Do About Them!)

Regret.  You know the feeling. You wish you hadn't slammed that door. You wish you'd used a nicer tone of voice. You know you need to be sweet, but you're just not feeling it.

Some days everybody in the house is miserable just because you're a grump. You know it's you that's setting the unpleasant mood, but you're not quite sure how to pull yourself out of it.

Let's examine some of the common reasons a mom gets grumpy and then it will be a little easier to determine what you can do about it.

1. Your relationship with the Lord is suffering.

When you don't make time with the Lord a priority, your mood will sour in a hurry. There are endless challenges to be faced in a day, both expected and unexpected. When you meet those challenges with nothing but your own strength and wisdom, you are fighting a losing battle. How can you face the inconvenience of a potty training accident with patience if you haven't spent time in the Word and in prayer? How can you hold up under the stress of a rebellious teenager's antics without asking and seeking for wisdom from God? Motherhood requires complete dependence on God. But due to the busy, demanding nature of motherhood, many moms rely on their own strength without even realizing it. Duty calls! There is a long to-do list waiting to be completed! Instead of stopping to spend time asking God to direct your day and give you strength and wisdom for whatever you will face, you get right out of bed and start in on the things you need to do. When the pressures inevitably come, you respond with the wrong attitude because you are not strong enough to handle it on your own.

What you can do:

Make your time with God a priority. Guard it fiercely because your life truly does depend on it. I realize sometimes you can't ever find a quiet moment, so I've written some practical suggestions on How to Find Time for God When You Can Hardly Find Time to Breathe. When you make a conscious effort to invite God into your every day life, you will find His Spirit more than willing to help you be sweet when you're irritated, patient when you're rushed, and calm when you're frazzled.

2. You're overwhelmed.

Maybe there are more things that need to be done in a day than will reasonably fit into a 24 hour period.   Maybe the kids are exceptionally hyper and are creating a less-than-peaceful environment. Maybe due to your busy schedule the house has turned into a disaster zone and you don't see how you can possibly pull it back together, especially when you're interrupted every few minutes by a voice from the bathroom calling “I'm dooone!” or a sibling arguing match that needs to be addressed. It all closes in on you and you find your mood darkening by the minute. You wish everybody would just behave and stop causing you all this trouble, and when they don't shape up and clean up and straighten up you are a little less than happy.

What you can do:

First, STOP. Retreat.

Tell everyone “Mommy needs 5 minutes in her room. You may look at books in your own room until I come out.” If you're feeling yourself getting grumpy, you need to get alone with God ASAP, even if it's only for a few minutes. Take some deep breaths and let your heart rate slow down. (I do not recommend giving your children chores to do while you're in your room. If they don't do them you'll only get frustrated all over again when you come out. Give them something fun to do and they'll gladly comply, but do make sure they have a specific place to be so they don't wreak havoc in the house.) Take just a minute to pray and ask God to help you with your attitude. Ask him for strength to get through what needs to be done. And ask Him for wisdom to understand what your priorities should be at this time.

Next, think about what can be eliminated.

Maybe you're rushing around to prepare for a specific activity and it's really gotten you worked up. Is it something that you have to fit into your schedule? If not, cross it off, and you've also crossed the overwhelm out of your day too.

Whatever you can eliminate, do it. Lighten your load, and you will remove the entire reason for feeling grumpy. Remove the cause; remove the effect. Problem solved.

3. Your family is irritating you.

Sometimes, in spite of every effort you've made to serve your family with a sweet attitude, they seem intent on making your day miserable. As you evaluate what you might have done wrong, you honestly cannot think of anything. Some days it seems like my kids have secretly conspired to disobey every command I give, cry every time they don't get their way, and have a contest to see who can come up with the most mischievous escapade. It almost seems like I should have a right to be grumpy on those days. But really, who wants to be grumpy? Not me! I would imagine you don't care to be grumpy either.

What you can do:

Sometimes your children are just craving your attention. Maybe your mind is too much on the housework and they're trying to say “Hello! Can you pay some attention to me too?” Sometimes they're tired or going through emotional changes. It's probably time to take a break from housework and go outside and play with your kids. When my children are purposely irritating me, the last thing I want to do is spend more time with them, but once I do it is the best thing for all of us. It usually helps their behavior, and if nothing else, it gives me some happy thoughts! I'd rather think about how cute the kids looked when I was pushing them on the swing then how badly their bickering is irritating me.

4. You're tired.

Do I really even need to explain that being tired makes a mom feel grumpy? But most of us are perpetually tired. It's a never ending job, this mothering thing!

What you can do:

Although it's tempting to stay up late when the house is (finally!) quiet, you”ll be glad in the morning if you just get some good rest instead. If you have kids waking in the night, chances are they'll wake up right about the time you turn off the light. You'll wonder why you didn't go to bed earlier so you could have at least logged a couple hours sleep before then!

Sometimes extreme, unexplained fatigue is the result of underlying physical problems. If you're experiencing this, it is not normal, and I recommend that you visit a doctor to get some help. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome several years ago and I can testify that it not only makes one extremely tired all the time, but it also negatively impacts your emotional well-being. (Praise the Lord I was able to find some good help and overcome these challenges naturally.  See my book here.) If you're getting plenty of sleep at night and still finding yourself incredibly tired all the time, you should seek medical help.

5. You're hungry.

Have you ever heard the term “hangry”? It's when you feel grumpy or angry because you need to eat!

If your blood sugar drops too low you may even start to feel shaky and weak. This is not a good position for a mom to be in, especially when you have a house full of other hungry people!

What you can do:

Eat breakfast within an hour of waking up and be sure to eat plenty of food throughout the day. Keep a food journal so you can see exactly how much you're eating. When you're busy dealing with children it's very possible you're eating a lot less than you think you are! Keep healthy snacks on hand and never ever feel guilty about eating. Help your children understand how to be sensitive to the needs of others by allowing them to wait when they want seconds at meal times. Tell them, “Mommy will be happy to get you something as soon as I've finished my first helping.” If anyone needs to eat, it's you, mom! You can still serve your family without getting up from the table a hundred times. Feed your body plenty of healthy food and you will be able to say good-bye to some of that pre-dinner grouchiness.

What makes you a grouchy mom? What do you do about it? I'd love for you to share your thoughts in the comments!

Other posts you might like:

How I Began My Journey from Overwhelmed to Rested

I'm not sure of the exact moment I began feel the weight of being overwhelmed lifting – it has been such a gradual process – but I know there are some very definitive milestones that have made a noticeable difference in my emotional state.

The first was when I began to meditate frequently on this quote by Jim Elliot, the missionary who was martyred in the jungles of Ecuador:

“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”

I was struggling to do everything, to be everything, and to do it all for everyone.

Instead I needed to learn to live in the moment.

The key to living in the moment was to be sure what I was doing in that moment was the will of God.

At the end of the day, there may be a lot of good things left undone, but I can mentally release myself from the guilt of unaccomplished tasks knowing that I've put my heart and soul into every circumstance that God had planned for me that day.

And I'm learning to not even live the moments that are not God's will for me.

Although the quote is not from Scripture, God has been using it to direct my mind to Scripture many times throughout the day.  If I am truly going to live in the will of God, I must be in tune with his desires for me moment by moment.

It has brought me:
1. An increased awareness of God's presence and direction for even the smallest decisions
2. Better awareness of how I am using my time

The result of both of those has been to find more peace in my home.

Awareness of God's presence gives peace to my soul.

Better time management increases the atmosphere of peace in my home.

The house stays more tidy.
I am more mentally present and in tune to my husband's and children's needs.
I am more aware of my own needs, including simple things like eating enough food at meals.

All of this because of a simple quote, but I believe the Spirit's calling it to my remembrance was a direct answer to prayer in helping me begin my journey to rest.

I hope as you meditate on all of its implications, it will be as much of a help to you as it has been to me.