5 Essential Self-Control Strategies for Parents

You will never be a gentle parent if you have not learned the discipline of self-control.  All parents are going to feel angry from time to time.  It is not a sin to feel angry.  But what you do with that anger is the difference between being a Godly parent or whether you are parenting in the flesh.

Since you already know that the temptation to react improperly (yell, huff and puff, give unreasonable consequences simply because you feel angry) will arise from time to time, you would be wise to proactively put some strategies in place to help you keep your temper under control.

(Romans 13:14 “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”)

I'm listing 5 ideas for you here, and we'll also explore some of these a little more in-depth in the next few days of the Parenting with Gentleness series.

1. Speak truth to yourself.

You must fill your mind with the truth of God's Word.  Your actions will never change until your thinking is changed.

(Romans 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.“)

2. Pray

As soon as you feel the frustration arising, you ought to begin to pray.  You cannot control yourself.  Self-control is actually allowing yourself to be controlled by the Holy Spirit.  Pray and yield yourself to him, asking for the strength to control yourself even though you feel angry.

3. Deep breathing

Deep, steady breaths will help slow down your heart rate and calm your nerves.  You need to calm your body down or the pressure may cause you to explode at your children.

4. Listen to music

Soft, soothing music will also help to slow down your heart rate and calm your nerves.  Also, if you are listening to music that is filled with truths from God's Word, you are doubling up 2 strategies in one!

5. Remove yourself from the situation

It's pretty much impossible to feel calm when you're standing in the middle of a big mess your child has made.  Don't say a word until you have left “the crime scene” or you might say something you don't really mean.

(Proverbs 29:11 “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”)

Don't wait until you feel angry to figure out how to react because you can pretty much be assured that it won't be the right way.  Make your plans ahead of time so you won't be taken by surprise.  You'll be glad you did.

This post is part of the Parenting with Gentleness series.