Moms, Let’s Quit Saying This To Our Kids

“Mom, can you throw this soccer ball to me so I can practice blocking it?”
“Mom, can you read this book to me?”
“Mom, can we paint something?”
“Mom, can you play a game with me?”

If you're a mom, chances are these are familiar phrases to you.

But I fear too often the answer is an unfortunate “Not right now.”

“Not right now; I'm making supper.”
“Not right now; I'm mopping the floor.”
“Not right now; I'm checking my email.”

I wonder what would happen if our kids heard a lot fewer “Not right now”s and more “Yes!  I would love to!”s.

There's definitely a balance between getting the housework done (and yes, your kids can and should help) and spending time just playing.

Sometimes the “not right now” moments are good opportunities for my children to learn character.  “We work first and then we play.  I'd love to play, but the kitchen needs to be cleaned.  We'll clean together and then we'll play together.”  But if I'm not careful, I can turn the “work first, play later” philosophy into one big disappointment for my child.  There will always be another load of laundry to fold, another dish to wash, another set of crumbs to sweep.  If I wait until every shred of work is done the “not right now” moments will never turn into “okay, now” moments.

 I'm not even going to try to pretend to have the balance of all that figured out.

But if I can't get it exactly right, I'd ten times rather err on the side of making sure my kids feel important.  I don't want them to feel like mom is always putting their needs and wishes on the back burner – like it's something I'll get to if it happens to be convenient.

I'd rather leave the rice getting cold and sticky on the stove while I kick a soccer ball outside than to say “Not right now” and end up never getting around to going outside with my boy.  “Sorry, it got too dark.  Maybe tomorrow.”

Pretty soon he's going to stop asking because he knows it will only be a weak promise of “In a while”  but that later will never come.
But if we eat sticky rice every night while we're out of breath and itchy from playing in the grass, guess what he's going to remember about his mama?  He's going to remember that he was more important than her agenda.

Memories are not made from the “Not right now”s.
Memories are made from sticky rice and itchy legs.

I don't know about you, mama, but I don't want my son's childhood to be one long string of “Not right now” moments –  moments that could have been a memory but instead became another disappointment for my child.

Together, let's get rid of the endless “Not right now”s.  Let's not let our children grow up with large blank gaps in their memory where there should have been loving memories of mama spending time with them while dinner got cold on the stove.  They'll never remember what dinner tasted like or whether the last load of laundry was folded.

They'll just know their mama wanted to be with them.

That's what I want my kids to remember.  Don't you?