One Simple Way to Bring More Peace Into Your Home

“Something's got to change.  Something has to change NOW.”

I was completely overwhelmed and defeated as a mother.

Oh, sure, I had made a lot of changes in my mindset and overall I was happier and less stressed.

But things at home were still not flowing terribly smoothly.

A lot of that stemmed from my battling of chronic fatigue and other health issues (more on that in another post) and the fact that we just could not get into a routine because of it.  Some days I'd be up well before the kids, some days found me sleeping until embarrassingly late hours of the morning because my body was too weak and tired to get up any earlier.

4 kids and a sleeping-in mother DO NOT mix well, let me tell you.  They could get breakfast for themselves, but they sure couldn't clean it up very well.  🙂

We managed to get a lot of the chaos under control by instituting a rule that no one was allowed to come out of their rooms until mommy was up.  For the most part they obeyed (other than the toddler who would just come snuggle with me and I sure didn't mind that.)

But regardless, on the days where I slept late we all felt behind all day.  It was frustrating to both me and the kids.  I tried so hard to get up earlier because I knew that it would reduce a lot of my stress and in the long run help me to feel better.  (Reducing stress is a huge component of battling chronic fatigue.)

Step number one in that process was to focus on an earlier bedtime for the kids.  They were often up late because we started our day late, which then pushed every activity of the day back by a couple hours, which pushed bedtime back way too far, which kept me up late, which exhausted me and stressed me out, which left me with that “I've-been-run-over-by-a-truck” feeling the next morning, continuing the vicious cycle.

I'm learning that the biggest changes come when I learn to focus on one small thing.

So getting consistent with bedtime was my first “small thing.”  And it had a domino effect.  The earlier bedtime allowed me to be more rested, which helped me start getting up earlier, which helped me stay on top of my days better, which helped me to have the kids ready for bed earlier, which reduced a ton of stress, which made me feel more rested, which continued that positive cycle.

And all I had to do was one simple thing.

It made such a drastic difference that I was telling all my mom friends about it when they would talk about how exhausted they were or how stressed they were.

They probably thought I was weird, because don't most moms put their kids to bed at a normal, decent hour?  But I wasn't doing that.  So I figured that even if most moms have the bedtime thing down, there are probably some that don't.

We still don't have the bedtime thing down perfectly.  Things happen.  But when we get off track, I go right back to shooting for that early bedtime the next night.

In the beginning, I literally had to focus on bedtime all day long.  The focus of the entire day was on how I could get everyone in bed on time.

And it was great!

By focusing on one thing, my organizational skills improved in so many other areas as a natural result.  I got meals served in a timely manner because I knew that a late supper would mean a late kitchen cleanup and a late bedtime (or no kitchen cleanup if it got to be too late which would definitely increase the stress of the next day!) I got baths given and laundry put away sooner rather than later so it could be done before the kids went to bed.  This one focus area affected so many other things, but yet I didn't feel like it went against my naturally disorganized personality because I wasn't trying to think about a bunch of stuff every day.  I only had to be good at one thing, but it automatically made me good at other stuff.

(Full disclosure here: by the phrase “good at”, I really mean, “a lot better than I used to be, but still not even close to perfect.”)

Once I had the earlier bedtime down fairly well, I began to work on a morning routine for all of us.  I knew I needed something that would work regardless of what time we got up in the morning.

And I have been SO PLEASED with how things are going.  (Here is an update on the Morning Routine for Kids that Changed Our Days.)

We still have a lot of progress to make in our pursuit of smoothly flowing days.  And I realize that with a bunch of little kids, “smoothly flowing” is always going to be a pretty relative term.  But I can handle the hiccups with a lot less agitation now that everyone knows where they're supposed to be and what they're supposed to be doing.

Here's the really cool thing: this concept works no matter what your “one thing” is. For me, it was getting the kids to bed earlier. For you, maybe it's getting yourself to bed earlier. Maybe it's preparing your dinner first thing in the morning. Maybe something else entirely. But the key is to choose one simple thing to focus on that will have a domino effect on many other aspects of your day.

I've created a workbook that will guide you through the process of finding the thing that you need to tweak for your unique situation. Check out 7 Days to Calm for easy-to-follow instructions that will help you figure out how to eliminate the chaos in your own home.

I understand what it's like to feel like life is never-ending chaos.

It's depressing.  Boy, do I know.

I'm so thankful the Lord has given wisdom and help to come up with simple solutions that even someone as disorganized as I am could implement.

Friend, if you're struggling through that vicious cycle of staying up late, being tired and grouchy, feeling behind all day long, and going to bed late yet again, can I encourage you to not be afraid of the simplest solution?

Can I encourage you to focus on just one thing?

For me it was the earlier bedtime for the kids.  For you, that may be preparing supper first thing in the day because it will in turn reduce the evening chaos.  It may be something else.  But pinpoint one small thing.  Stop trying to fix your whole life all in one shot, and just narrow it down to one thing.

You may be surprised how much of a difference it will make in your home.

I've been a mess for so long, and I know how miserable it is.  I also know how relieving it is when the tornado-like winds start slowing down.

If you're still in the middle of the chaos, I want you to feel that relief.  If I can find a little calm amidst the chaos, I think anybody can!