The Secret to Becoming a Less Grouchy Mom

The morning started out nicely enough.  I got up early, read my Bible, and then sent out an email about how things are going a lot more smoothly now that we're getting to bed earlier and we are getting into a good morning routine.

We finished up breakfast and tidied up the house, then got started on homeschooling for the day.  Sounds like we have the perfect little family, doesn't it?

But 5 minutes into the school day, things changed a little bit.

The table was covered in piles of stuffed animals that the kids thought should join them.  I couldn't think with the mess.  One seat is vacant because a child had already had a melt-down and was in her room until she could calm down.

The toddler was sitting on the table, and I was shushing her every few minutes so I could teach.

Thankfully the baby was being a sweetheart (she's such a good baby!), but it wasn't long after this that I had to excuse myself to take care of her blowout diaper.

The rest of the day never did get quite back on track.

There were more melt-downs.  There were attitudes.  There was a toddler potty-training accident and a bunch of toilet paper shoved down the bathroom sink drain. (I'm sure that will make my husband's day better when he arrives home from work.)  There was an impromptu bath after the accident and another accident (of the grosser variety) while she was in the bathtub.

There were interruptions and inconveniences galore.

But I didn't have a horrible day.

Now, I want to be careful with this next part because I don't want to sound all pious and like I'm little miss perfect who always has a great attitude.

Because I don't.

But, the reason I didn't have a horrible day is that I'm learning (ever so slowly) a very important lesson that is greatly helping me as I persevere through this season of motherhood.

I'm learning the lesson of expectation.

I've come to realize that my expectations of motherhood started out all wrong.  I spent a lot of time frustrated because things weren't working out like I thought they should.

I felt like the house should stay tidy all the time, the children should be sweet, and we should cuddle up and read books all day.

Anything outside of that ideal was, in my mind, a deviation from the norm and needed to be rectified as soon as possible.

A potty training accident?  What an inconvenience!  Sigh.
A melt-down?  Are you serious? Child, do you know how much I'd like to be snuggling with you right now with a book?  But I can't because you are interrupting the flow of our day!

But over time, I've come to realize a simple, yet life-changing truth.

Life isn't perfect.

Imperfection is the norm. And any day that ends uneventfully is actually the deviation from the norm.

Once I figured that out, I started to take things like having toilet paper shoved down the sink with a lot more grace and a lot fewer sighs.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying I like it when those things happen.  And I'm not saying we should just run our homes with a whatever-goes attitude without having guidelines in place to keep things flowing as smoothly as possible.

But…messes and kids just go hand in hand.

Motherhood is hard work, plain and simple.

In fact, there are way more “hard work” moments than there are commercial-worthy, happy, cuddly family moments.

Are the feel good moments worth every ounce of hard work that I put in every day?  A thousand times yes.

But I need to remember to expect the hard work rather than treating it as an annoying obstacle to the feel good moments.

The messes are going to be there.  The inconveniences.  The exhaustion.

And it's okay, because that's what life with kids is all about.

It's about loving them no matter what.
It's about being grateful for each moment I get to spend with them, whether that be disinfecting a filthy bathroom floor or snuggling up with a book.

Expect it, mama.

Expect to be tired.

Expect to work hard.

Expect life to be imperfect.

And when those chaotic moments come your way, they'll no longer seem like an inconvenience or a reason for a panic attack.  They'll just be another part of your messy, yet beautiful life.