The Most Important Habit to Develop if You’re an Explosive Parent

Do you find yourself exploding frequently at your children with unkind and hurtful words?There was a period recently where I was experiencing blow-ups way too frequently and I knew something had to change.  I didn't want to yell at my kids, but I didn't know how to stop. I asked God to show me how I could defeat this enemy, and as he has promised (James 1:5) He gave me the answers.

One of the most important things I learned was that I needed to develop a habit of meditation.

No, I'm not talking about doing yoga.  I'm talking about scriptural meditation on that which is good and right.

Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”

If I want the words of my mouth to be acceptable before the Lord (and pleasant to my children), the meditation of my heart must first be acceptable before the Lord.

Here is a list of 3 things I should be meditating upon:

1. Scripture

Joshua 1:8 “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”

Psalm 1:1-2 “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”

2. My blessings

Philippians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.”

I Thessalonians 5:18 “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

3. A truthful perspective

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Visit yesterday's post to read more about what I mean about telling the truth to ourselves.

Meditating on good things and counting my blessings has gone a long way in helping to curb the explosions that would come out of my mouth.

When I continuously mull over all the negative things about my day, my mind is clouded with those toxic thoughts.  I forget to count my blessings because I've filled my mind with the things I don't like.  And whatever is in my heart is what will come out of my mouth.

Luke 6:45 “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”

I explode because I feel overwhelmed with how badly things are going.

But if I fill my mind with good things, I don't have all that negativity rolling around in there ready to boil over as soon as something unpleasant happens.

Now, let me also mention that physical issues can contribute to anxiety and irritability in a big way.  Read more here about why your physical health affects your ability to be a gentle parent.

It's important to address underlying physical issues that may be going on, but we must never neglect to seek the Lord first. We must never become so focused on figuring out all the answers ourselves that we forget to focus on the One who made our bodies, who loves us, and who knows exactly what we need.

What are you meditating on?  Are you meditating on all the things that stress you out, all the messes your kids made, all the things that are not going according to your plan?

Friends, let's practice meditating on God's Word, count our blessings, and fill our minds with what is true and good.

Then watch as you are transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)

This post is part of the Parenting with Gentleness series.