Little boys are wonderful, but they will not stay little forever. When they are grown they will be men – men with life responsibilities, wives, and families. What tools do our little boys need to be properly equipped to face manhood?
As the parents of these little boys, we must be actively working to provide them with the tools they need to face life as a man. As the husbands and fathers in our society become less and less able to handle the pressures of life in a Godly and responsible way, our families, our churches, and our country begins to crumble from the inside out. Let's raise up a generation of real men who will stand for God, take responsibility for their families, and and do right at all costs!
So what are some of the ways we can prepare our little boys to be men? What are the things we must be teaching them?
- Strong work ethic
My husband has been a manager at several different work places through the years, and it has been surprising to see how lazy some of the young men who have worked under him have been. Some of these guys have come from good Christian homes, but somewhere along the line their parents failed to teach them that W-O-R-K is not a dirty word.
A man's responsibility is to work hard to provide for his family's needs. He's not going to get very far with that if he's lazy. Let's teach our boys not to be lazy! When they clean their room, let's constantly be reminding them what the Bible says about doing things with all our might. Let's not accept a slip-shod job on their chores, but make them go back and do it again until it's done right. (This requires discipline on the part of the parents too, by the way!)
- Money management
A real man provides for his family, not only by working hard to pay the bills, but also by being a wise steward of his resources. We must teach our boys how to handle money wisely and how to exercise self-control over spending frivolously. (See also: The Secret to Living Debt Free)
This will look different for different families, but boys need to be taught in some way how to budget their money and then to be disciplined enough to stick to the budget.
- Courage
It seems to be a common parenting philosophy these days to “protect” our children to such an extent that they are not allowed to do anything that could even remotely be construed as “dangerous”. Play with sticks? Nope. You could poke your eye out. Ride your bike down that hill? No. It's entirely too steep. For that matter, let's just put your bike away altogether. You could break an arm. Jump off the top step of the porch? Not a chance.
We have stifled our boys' natural sense of adventure and embedded fear in its place. Is it any wonder that so many young men these days are effeminate?
I want my boys to be bold enough to look fear in the face and do what needs to be done even if it means putting his life on the line to protect his family.
- Gentleness with ladies and children
Just as I want my boy not to be effeminate, on the flip side that does not mean he needs to plow through life with unbridled crudeness. He can be a real man and still hold doors for ladies, refrain from rude noises in the presence of ladies, and treat children with gentleness and compassion. In fact, he's not a real man if he can't discipline himself to treat ladies and children properly.
(See also: 13 Things I Want My Son to Learn Before He Turns 13)
- Decision making
Someday as the head of his family, my boy will be responsible for making some hard decisions. Providing him opportunities to be independent will help him learn that skill. Micromanaging a boy's life is not doing him any favors for the future. This may require a little bit of sacrifice on our part, mamas. Perhaps we'd like him to organize his things in a different way or choose a different shirt to wear, but if it's not hurting anything we need to give our sons the freedom to make some of those choices on their own.
There's a fine line between teaching a boy to obey his mama and forcing him to relinquish all control over any decision making. Let's make sure our boys know how to grow up thinking for themselves instead of cowing to our every whim.
- Taking responsibility
A boy's mama is not his maid or personal servant. If he lives in the house he needs to help do the work. A boy can help do his laundry, clean his room, take out the trash, and even cook his own breakfast on occasion. That's not cruelty; that's life preparation. If we coddle and pamper our boys, they'll be in for a rude awakening when they find out there's nobody there to bail them out of fixing the stopped up toilet, fixing the car, or repairing the leak in the ceiling. And his wife! Oh the poor dear! He'll be expecting the same coddling and pampering out of her when he really needs to be picking out his own clothes and making sure his own dirty socks make it to the hamper.
Many husbands have an entitled, “serve me” attitude toward their wives because their mama trained them to expect to be served. Let's train our boys to be the servant rather than the served. (No, I absolutely don't think there's anything wrong with a mama serving her family and doing kind things for them. But let's be very careful to make sure our kids don't develop an attitude of entitlement. They aren't going to learn responsibility just by watching your example; they need to practice it by having responsibilities of their own.)
- Be leader; not a follower
We need men today who are leaders rather than followers — men who do right even if nobody else is doing it. Let's teach our boys that they don't have to follow the crowd. Let's encourage them when everyone is making fun of them for being so “uncool”. Let's not give in when they want to do this, that, or the other just because everyone else is doing it. Let's raise up strong men who will lead their families, their churches, and their country in righteousness.
- Personal relationship with God
A man will never possess any of the other qualities mentioned without his own personal relationship with God. He may do these things out of habit just because mama helped him develop those habits, but when the pressure rises, so will the temptation to abandon what he knows is right and take the easy way out. But if he has a strong relationship with God, first through salvation and then through spending time daily in God's Word and prayer , he will be fully equipped to handle the decisions and responsibilities that come his way and to lead his family spiritually.
(See also: How to Teach Young Children to Develop a Personal Relationship With God)
God bless you as you strive to train up a generation of young men who will grow up to serve God with all their hearts!
