17 Ways To Ensure Your Son Will Not Be a Gentleman

“How are you?” she asked, but there was no response, other than the grumpy look on his face. 

“Surely  he answered and I just didn't hear him,” I thought to myself in surprise.  But as she asked another question  and then another, even she began to look surprised.

I could not believe she just spoke directly to his face and he just stared back at her with a scowl!

This was not a troubled teen.  This was a young adult from a good home who should have known better.

About a week later, I happened to pass him and when I said hello he continued on without even acknowledging that I had spoken.  I was flabbergasted.

Then I remembered a college professor of mine who said that this happened to him all the time with college students.  He would say good morning and they just simply wouldn't answer.  (He would just run back around in front of them and try it again until he got an answer!)

But again, these weren't young adults from troubled homes. For the most part these were people from good families, but they all had one thing in common: they were RUDE!

If such a large number of young adults have grown up not having learned basic manners, I have to wonder if parents are dropping the ball.  I understand that ultimately children make their own choices, but when it comes to something like manners, those aren't really choices; they're habits that are learned from the earliest ages.

The following are ways that parents unintentionally raise sons who are not gentlemen.  (And if you have daughters, any of the points that are not boy-specific absolutely apply.)

Let's work hard to avoid these parenting pitfalls and teach our children to be polite, caring adults!

1. Let him play rough with his sisters or female friends.

This will help him learn that ladies are not to be treated gently and with respect.

2. Don't let him help carry groceries for mom.

Mom can do it faster herself, and not allowing him the privilege to help will teach him that ladies don't need gentlemen to help them anyway.

3. Don't make him give his seat to a lady.

This will teach him to take care of himself  when he's tired (or lazy.)

4. Don't enforce table manners.

This will help him understand that he is too dumb to use them anyway and that “real men” are crass.

5. Don't make him speak when someone speaks to him.

This will help him understand that his own feelings are more important than treating other people with respect. (Note: I understand that some young children are extremely shy.  But if you always use that as an excuse, they will have a very hard time overcoming it when they're grown.  This post has a suggestion for gently helping children who struggle with being shy.)

6. Always let him choose the activity when friends are over.

This will teach him not to value the opinions and wishes of others, especially when they are different from his own.

7. Don't make him apologize when he bumps into someone or knocks something over.

This will teach him to live recklessly and without thought of how his actions affect others.

8. Allow him to cut in line or push his way to the front.

This will teach him that he's got to look out for himself, no matter how it affects other people.

9. Don't differentiate between inside and outside behavior (running, shouting, etc.)

This will teach him that he can let out his manly energy anytime he wants; there is no reason to control it until the appropriate time.

10. Just let “boys be boys” – picking nose, burping, scratching

This will help him understand that the ladies just need to “get over it”; he doesn't need to be concerned that his actions make others feel uncomfortable.

11. Always give him your full attention when he interrupts.

This will teach him that he is the most important person in the world and that his desires come before everyone else's.

12. Give him whatever he wants, no matter how he asks.

This will help him learn how to exert his “manly authority” instead of realizing that he doesn't deserve any favors that are given to him.

13. Do not make him stop to say thank you when someone gives him something.

This will help him develop an attitude of entitlement.

14. Let him speak his mind out loud about other people.

This will help him understand that other people's feelings don't matter.

15. Allow him to barge into closed doors whenever he wants.

This will teach him that other people do not deserve respect for their privacy.

16. Let him take things away from people if he wants them.

This will help him learn to be a “go-getter”, even if it means he steps on other people to get what he wants.

17. Don't ever expect him to pitch in and help when you're working on something.

This will help him learn never to volunteer to help someone in need.

And although this last one is not part of the official list, it might be the most important: Don't ever let him see daddy treating mommy like a lady (or mommy allowing daddy to do so – “I can open my own door!”).  This will make sure he has no good example to follow.

Do you see any areas that could use some tightening up in your household?  Did you think of any other ways that parents train their boys (or girls) to be rude and uncaring of others?

Some other posts you may like:

Free Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap for my Readers

I've been using ePantry for 5 or 6 months now, and I am LOVING it!

Every month I get all natural household products delivered to my door — usually after I've forgotten that I even needed to replenish my supply!

(My forgetful…er…busy self thanks me that I have my orders on autopilot so that I get the things I need before I even think about needing them.)

Even though the subscription service has saved my hide many times when I was out of stuff and it just magically showed up at my door, I also like the fact that I am not tied to it.  If money is tight or if I realize I haven't used as much laundry soap as normal, I can simply change the next month's shipment or cancel it altogether.

One of my recent orders from ePantry

ePantry carries a great selection of natural cleaning and personal care products and they've recently started carrying Dr. Bronner's liquid castile soap, which is one of the things I use most around the house.

They've graciously offered a free 32 oz. bottle of Dr. Bronner's liquid castile soap to any of my readers who want to try out their service!

Here's how it works:

1. Sign up here.

2. Answer a couple questions about the products you use.

3. ePantry will set up a sample delivery schedule for you, which you can customize to your liking.

4. Your free bottle of Dr. Bronner's soap will be added to your first order. (You'll need to have a final total of $20 or more for the offer to be added.)

5. This offer is only valid through August 17th, so snatch it up if you're interested!

Need ideas for how to use your free Dr. Bronner's soap?

Here is a list of tons of ways to use it all around the house!

  My preparations for a YouTube video on how to make your own non-toxic disinfectant – I used my Dr. Bronner's soap of course!  Watch for the video soon!

A couple last things to note:

Refer friends and family, get $10 off!

If you refer friends and family to ePantry, each person you refer will get $10 in credit for their first order! And, more good news! You will also receive $10 in credit for each person who checks out. It’s a win-win!

To top it all off, ePantry has wonderful customer service! They even offer an extra $2 off if you answer the question in the chat box. So go on ahead and check it out!

Elementary Anatomy Homeschool Curriculum Review

I was sponsored by Masterbooks to review their Elementary Anatomy homeschool curriculum and am excited to share my experience!  As always, all opinions are 100% my own, and I am honored to partner with a company that I believe in.

Although this curriculum is for 3rd through 6th grade, I am actually using it with my 2nd and 3rd graders.  You know a curriculum is good when it is easy enough for younger children to understand without being to easy or babyish for older students.

What I liked:

• Gorgeous, full-color photos and diagrams
• Written with a Biblical worldview
• Ready-made lesson plans
• Lots of hands-on activities; most do not require special supplies other than household items
• All-inclusive curriculum; all worksheets, tests, flashcards, etc. are included in the teacher book
• Homeschooling families are free to copy consumable pages for use with multiple children

What I didn't quite love:

I am not very “mainstream” in my views when it comes to health and wellness.  The curriculum is written by an M.D. and the “mainstream” philosophies of the author have shown up a few times throughout the textbook.  That's not enough to make me dislike the curriculum by any means; just something to be aware of if you're a little more on the “alternative” side. 🙂

Overall conclusion: (aka “Would I choose this curriculum again?”)

Yes!  Without a doubt, yes!  Not only are these books gorgeous (which makes them very appealing to kids), the lessons are thorough without being too long; I like the ratio of bookwork to hands-on activity, the price is very reasonable, and (most importantly to me) it's a completely open-and-go curriculum – no planning for mom! (Yay!)

You  can purchase this curriculum on the Masterbooks website – and be sure to browse through all their other homeschooling products while you're there! Curriculum sets are 26% off through August 31st and there is FREE SHIPPING on any order over $75!

Green Kid Crafts (Giveaway)

Green Kid Crafts is a subscription program that delivers creative and eco-friendly STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) activities to the doorsteps of children all around the country each month.

Your child could be one of the children enjoying the fun and educational activities from a Green Kid Crafts box!

My children enjoying their box this month

Each month’s box  is packed with 4 to 8 unique and engaging activity kits that are developed by teachers, crafty moms, and STEM experts to support key developmental skills for kids ages 3-10.

Each activity is also kid tested and parent approved for fun.

There is a new theme each month: past themes have included Mad Scientist, Nocturnal Animals, Around the World, Outer Space, and Feathered Friends.

Our theme this month was ROBOTS!

You can purchase subscriptions on a month-to-month, 3, 6 or 12 month duration.  Subscription boxes also make great gifts! Subscriptions start at $16.95 / month, and sibling subscriptions are also available. Order at www.greenkidcrafts.com.

COUPON: Use the code take5sp for $5.00 off anything in the Green Kid Crafts store!

ONE WINNER IS GOING TO RECEIVE A ONE MONTH SUBSCRIPTION TO GREEN KID CRAFTS!

Enter using the form below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

5 Ways to Encourage Your Husband Today

How To Win At Homemaking (When You Feel Like a Loser)

The runners all gather at the starting line.  As you look around at the others, you feel so incompetent and out of place.  This race doesn't even seem fair.  Many of the runners are dressed in expensive gear. You notice their well-trained muscles glistening in the sunlight as you painfully try to stretch the muscles in your own weary body. As you look down the lanes, you see hurdles and random obstacles in your lane while theirs have none.

Just as you decide that you don't belong here, you see other runners coming up to the starting block.  Some are on crutches; some are hunchbacks; some have blistered feet with bandages on them.

You don't have much time to ponder why this race includes such a variety of people with so many hindrances because the starting gun has blasted and everyone begins making their way down their respective lanes.

You don't get very far before your cramped muscles rebel against the exertion and you fall.  But your mama always taught you never to quit, so you pull your perspiring body from the track and keep going.  You catch a refreshing breeze which cools your aching lungs and you propel yourself forward.  For a glorious few minutes you feel the wind at your back and think you are making some headway; in fact, you begin to convince yourself you might even catch up to the experienced runners at the head of the pack.  As you focus on getting yourself to the front, you fail to notice one of the obstacles in your lane, and you trip and fall with a bloody gash on your shin.

You lay motionless for a time.  “What is the use?” you wonder.  “This race is a joke.”

As you determine to exit the track and go nurse your wounds, one of the other runners comes up behind you.  She's nearly crippled, but she makes her way along, inch by inch.

“It's not a competition,” she tells you gently.  “You don't win by getting to the finish line first; you win simply by getting there.”

You struggle to your feet and both of you inch your way down the track.  You each fall several more times but every time you get back up and keep going.  “I don't have to get there first.  I just have to get there,” you remind yourself with each panting breath.

Eventually one of the more skilled runners notices your struggle and comes to your aid.  You lean on her shoulder and continue to limp along.  Your crippled friend is being helped by another strong runner.

While you wish you weren't hurt or that your muscles were stronger or that you didn't have so many obstacles in your lane, you realize that this race is not about being the fastest or the best.  It's about sticking it out.  It's about getting up when you fall.  It's about taking one step at a time until you reach the finish line.

Weary friend, that's what homemaking is like.  Often you look around at your friends who are so much more skilled and organized than you are and you feel like you're hopelessly behind in the race.  You wonder why you have so many more obstacles or physical hindrances than others do.

Just remember: It's not a competition.  It's not about being the fastest or the best.  You don't win by getting to the finish line first; you win simply by getting there.

In order to win, you have to keep getting up when you fall.  And when you're stronger than the others, you stop to help them when they fall.

Don't look around at how much better everyone else is or how it's not fair that their lane doesn't have as many obstacles as yours.  Just keep going.  Keep going when you're behind.  Keep going when you're hurt.  Keep going when nothing you do seems good enough.  Keep going when you're tired.

Keep going.

And when you get to the finish line, you'll find that you've won.