I’ve Got This…Wait…No I Don’t

I had big, starry-eyed ideas before our sweet little munchkin was born.

I would follow my own advice and have low expectations for my days.  Basically, I would focus on the kids'  needs, make sure dinner got made, and try to clean and keep up with laundry as much as I could and not stress about what didn't get done.

Sounds easy, right?

“I've got this.”  I thought to myself.

But God has gentle ways of reminding me that “No, you don't.”

All 3 of the older kids spent the first couple days and nights at their grandparents' house while hubby and I got to enjoy some rest and quiet time with the baby.

Last night they came home, and here's how this morning went…

8:30 am – hubby's phone rings.  It's his boss, saying that he hates to bother him, but they need his help with something at work.  No problem.  He tells me he's going to take the kids with him so I can stay in bed and sleep.  I've been up most of the night with the baby.

11 am – Did you catch the time???  2  1/2 hours later, he's finally going out the door.  The delays included wet beds, a blowout diaper, and coaxing 3 kids to finish their breakfast.  Meanwhile, I still have not made it out of the bedroom, but haven't gotten any extra sleep.  I've been dealing with projectile spit-up and more blowout diapers, changing my own clothes and the baby's a couple times, and trying to figure out what to do with all this milk that is coming in that baby's tummy can't hold.  So far I haven't even managed to find a few seconds to drink a protein shake that my husband made for me a half hour ago.  I know I'm supposed to be eating enough and resting, but it's not working out very well.  And I'm only taking care of one baby while my husband just spent 2  1/2 hours caring for the other 3 kids.

How in the world am I going to do all of this when he goes back to work?

Me and my big ideas.

I planned on keeping things simple, but it's pretty clear that even that's not going to be enough.

Right now it's 8:48 pm.  Hubby took the older kids to Walmart while I'm making dinner.  Yes, that's right.  I am making dinner at 8:48 pm.  At least we are having dinner at all.

I know not every day will be like this.  Once the baby and I get squared away with nursing, she won't take up quite so much of my time.  We'll eventually settle into a routine.  Every kid isn't going to wet their bed every day.

But I need days like this.

I need to be reminded that I can't do it.

My mom has always told me that I was a very independent child, always wanting to “do it myself”.  Apparently, I'm one of God's independent children too.  “I can do it myself,” I tell him.

“Okay, I'll let you try that and see how it works out for you.”

As a child when my mother would let me try doing things myself, I had to finally admit that I really couldn't.  I had to humbly come to her after I'd made a mess of things with my own effort and ask for her help cleaning it all up.

I'm the same way as God's child. After pridefully thinking that I've got things under control, He stands back until I humbly realize that I can't do anything apart from Him.

Yes, these rough newborn days are good for me.

Friend, are you in the same boat?  Maybe not with a newborn, but with whatever your circumstances are?  Do you think you've got things under control?  Run to your Father before you make a mess of things.

Here are three things these past couple days have taught me about what I need to do as “God's independent child” and what I believe you should do when you find yourself fighting that battle too:

Admit that you are weak, and praise Him that He is strong. John 15:5  …without me ye can do nothing.  Tell God honestly that you've been trying to do things yourself, and ask Him to help you.  If there are specific rough spots in your day, pray specifically about those particular things.    

When rough days settle down and start flowing more smoothly, don't turn back away from him.  I admit, I am very bad about doing this.  I realize that I've been depending on my own strength, so I come to him asking for help.  When he answers my prayers, instead of thanking Him, I pat myself on the back and pridefully think that I'm the one who has turned the day from chaos to peace.  Wow. I sure am a slow learner.

Give thanks in everything. Sometimes God doesn't fix all our problems; He simply gives us grace to endure them.  Thank him whether he makes your burdens lighter or simply chooses to help you bear them.

Are you an independent child?  What changes do you need to make in your life?

Birth Center Vs. Hospital Birth

It is entirely possible for a mom to have an unmedicated, natural birth in a hospital surrounding.  I know from experience that is true because my first 3 children were all natural hospital births. Yet each one was increasingly more difficult to “hang in there” and not cave to the pressures of medication or unnecessary intervention. I basically labored at home as long as I possibly could so that I could be in my own relaxed atmosphere.  I went to the hospital just in time for delivery. (My first was actually born in the car just before we got to the hospital.  Whoops!)  With my second, I was not at the hospital too terribly long before delivery, but I was miserable the whole time.  With my third I was only there a few hours, but that was long enough to make me so miserable that I wasn't sure I wanted any more children. The longer I sat there, chained to IV's and monitors, with unfamiliar faces rushing in and out of the room, the less relaxed I became.

• I got to answer what seemed like hundreds of questions for paperwork while needing desperately to concentrate on breathing through contractions.
• I got to be poked and prodded for an IV line by a nurse who acted like she was bored out of her mind and extremely inconvenienced by having to care for yet another patient.
• When I was finally left alone, I was told I could be in whatever position I wanted – sit, walk around, etc.  Really???  I have yet to figure out how I was supposed to do that while chained to all that stuff.  Trying to change positions would have been a whole lot more uncomfortable than just staying put and leaving things as they were.
• When the doctor came in to check my progress, he also broke my water before I even realized what was happening.
• When it came time to push, I was basically placed into the position which was most convenient for the doctors and nurses, even though it certainly was not the most comfortable for me.
• After delivery, my baby was whisked away to be washed and weighed, and I was not allowed to move to a recovery room until my IV line was finished. It wasn't until that point I discovered that it was loading my veins with pitocin.
• Once in the recovery room, I was not allowed to leave the hospital until 48 hours from the birth.  By that time I was thoroughly exhausted — not so much from having a newborn, but from having my sleep interrupted every few minutes by nurses coming in unannounced to check this or that or offer me some type of medication.

Now, all those things in and of themselves are not the worst thing that could happen, and I still managed to have natural births in spite of them.  I'm sure a natural birth would be even more attainable if I had a very assertive advocate along with me to make sure everything was done according to my wishes. I could have had another natural hospital birth if I had needed to, and it wouldn't have been the end of the world, but I wanted to experience giving birth at a birth center and see for myself if there was a big difference.   Here's a little about my experience:

• At every prenatal appointment, I saw the midwife who would be there for my delivery.  I wouldn't have to deliver with a doctor or nurses whom I had never met before.  I also met the other midwives just in case my midwife were to not be able to be there for some reason.
• Throughout the pregnancy, I was offered advice for natural treatments for common pregnancy complaints rather than medication.
• When labor began and I arrived at the birth center I didn't have to sit through a long process of complicated paperwork to be admitted.  I was immediately allowed to rest or move around as I wished.
• Throughout labor, I could go wherever I wanted in the birth center.  The bedroom was homey and comfortable, and I was able to relax and sleep a little.
• I did not have to be hooked up to any IV's or monitors; baby's heartbeat simply had to be checked every 30 minutes.
• My midwife had gotten to know me and what I wanted ahead of time. She was ready to help or simply leave me alone. (She knew that I just like to be left alone, and that's what she did, although she was available to support me as needed if I changed my mind.)
• When it came time to push, she encouraged me to get into whatever position felt most comfortable.  After the first push, she thought that position wasn't going to be effective, and offered her suggestion as to a better position. But she didn't make me feel like I had to do it that way.  (She was right, though, and I was glad for her suggestion!  Baby was out in one push!)
• At the birth center, I had my first water birth.  At the beginning of the pregnancy, I wasn't so sure what I thought, but I finally warmed up to the idea, and now I am glad I did!  I wouldn't exactly call it wonderful, because I don't exactly enjoy the process of giving birth no matter where I am, but it definitely felt better than delivering hospital-style!
• 2 hours after the birth, I was allowed to go home if I wished, or stay and rest as long as I wanted.  I stayed for about 5 hours and rested, then went home.  I felt more rested after the first afternoon home than I did after an entire 2 days staying at the hospital.  Sleeping in my own bed, uninterrupted by nurses barging in every time I doze off, has been absolutely wonderful!

I am thankful for the experience of using the birth center, and if we have any more children, I plan on going there again!

Help Kids Listen in Church {Free Printables}

Our 2 oldest children sit with us in church on Sunday nights.

I want to make sure that they are not only quiet, but that they are also learning something. Even if the message is over their head, they can still learn something if they are taught to pay attention and try to understand as much as they can.

Up until now, we have just helped them find their place in their Bibles and made sure they are sitting up straight and listening to the preacher.  (Read: To the Mom Whose Kids are Wiggly in Church.)

Crayons, pen and paper, and the like have not worked out very well when we have tried to let them draw or color.

I feel like I spend more time and brain power making sure they don't draw on their clothes or spill crayons everywhere than I do actually listening to the message myself.

Perhaps it's not distracting to others around us, but it sure is distracting to me!

But I thought it would be nice to have something to actively engage their brain in trying to understand what the preacher is saying. Just because they are sitting up straight does not mean their brain is necessarily focused on what he is saying.  They could be counting the windows, crossing their eyes to make the lights look like prisms, or looking at the picture in the baptistry.  (I know I did all of the above when I was a kid!)

I came up with several printable pages for kids of various ages to help them listen more proactively while in church.

I purposely kept these simple  so that children can easily learn the instructions and know what to do each week without continually asking you questions during church.

I also made these available in both 8.5×11 size as well as half size sheets.  I've found my children have a hard time holding a full size binder on their lap, so I'll be doing the half size sheets with a half size binder.  But at the same time, some children need to write larger, so I still wanted to make the option of larger pages available to you.

Age 4-6

Download half size sheets here

Age 6-8

Download half size sheets here

Age 8-10

At this age, my children should be old enough to start taking actual sermon notes. I will allow them to start by copying mom or dad's notes if they want until they have gotten the hang of taking their own notes.

Download half size pages here

Free Photo Book and More Frugal Gifts

Here are some great deals for Christmas gifts that I thought I'd pass along this weekend.  I know we can all use help getting gifts crossed off our list without spending a fortune:

Free 5×7 Photo Book

Just pay shipping of $2.99 – this is a great deal, and a great gift for grandparents! Get it here.

$3 photo ornament

Get it here

Free photo mug (just pay shipping)

Get it here

I'm excited to get some Christmas shopping done!  I love photo gifts, and I especially love the prices on these!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. I will receive a small commission from purchases made through these links.  Thank you for supporting this blog!

DIY Preschool Matching Activity

Guest post by Nicole at A Living Sacrifice.

This DIY Preschool Matching Activity is perfect for preschoolers.  Use it in a busy box, Sunday School, or daycare setting to occupy the littles.

I have moved all of my homeschooling posts to ChristianHomeschoolFamily.com. You can go here to read this post at the new site.

Guidelines for Christian Conduct on Facebook

Guest post by Denise Myers

Facebook is a phenomenal tool for communication. It is (along with twitter) one of the leading information and connection sources in the world. This communication tool shows no signs of slowing down. Its potential for good is matched by its frequent and frustrating use for evil. Some are struggling with this technology and its ability to create conflict amongst Christians. Have you heard anyone say…

• “They un-friended me.”

• “Did you read what they said about me?”

• “They shouldn’t talk like that.”

and the most common

• “That post wasn’t about them…it was something different (harmless)…I can’t believe they read into that post…etc.”

Before posting, remember, this is a public forum. Think of yourself standing up before a group of several hundred people (or however large your friend list is) with a microphone making your status announcement. This is essentially what you are doing.

Here are some things that I think could help this tool be a blessing and not a curse.

1. Never post negatively. – People will almost always assume you were talking about them (especially if you are upset with them at the time of posting). If they haven’t had interaction with you recently, do you really want everyone to know how bad your life is? Show everyone your positive side…they’ve got their own issues without borrowing yours. People will also “fill-in-the-blanks” on “who you are mad at” or “who is a jerk” etc.
2. Be quick to delete. – The Bible teaches that you are responsible to the Lord for what you put in front of your eyes. Do you remember the words to the children's song, “Oh be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love”? If someone uses bad language, delete the post from your view or if someone continually uses bad language, hide their status updates from appearing in your newsfeed or delete them. If a post on your timeline could be misread, delete it. If you thought it, someone else probably did too. If someone is offended because their post was deleted, explain that you are connected with a lot of people and you don’t want them to be perceived as negative. Explain your sensitive delete key. If they harass you about it, delete them.
3. If you can’t handle it, GET OFF. – Be honest with yourself and set time limits. The Bible says, you are responsible to the Lord for how you spend your time. Know yourself and be strong enough to limit yourself. Ephesians 5:16 – “Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.”
4. Use Facebook as a tool to encourage. – Take a few minutes everyday and post something kind on a deserving person’s wall. Be that person that lifts others.
5. Be careful who you befriend. – Never befriend someone who is dangerous to your marriage or walk with God. If someone is rebellious towards spiritual authority, the Bible commands us to leave them alone as they are appointed unto wrath.
6. If someone questions you about a post, remove it. – There are at least 10 other people that thought the same thing but didn’t mention it. Guard your reputation. No one should celebrate being a murmurer, gossiper or slanderer. The Bible calls each of these practices “sin”.
7. Never use Facebook to send a “Woe Is Me” message. – It’s okay to post needs or better yet, contact someone directly. A child of God is NEVER hopeless, helpless or a failure in life. To say otherwise is to claim God isn’t able to work everything for our good. We are told to even rejoice when others speak evil against us.
8. Know your spouse’s sign on info. – Never keep secrets. Marriages are destroyed when private worlds are created and the person you are supposed to be “one” with has no access to your activity on Facebook.
9. Do not assume a negative post is about you. – It may be, but never assume and let it ruin your day without confirmation. Contact the person quickly and ask, “Was this about me?” They might not realize how their post appears. If someone contacts you and asks that question, delete or explain your comment.
10. Sharing too much information is bad. – Be careful little mouth what you say. Protect your marriage/family bubble. Hackers are looking for your info right now.
11. Watch your language (including spell-check). – Vulgar or obscene language is never acceptable. What is or is not offensive language can often depend on the sensitivity of the reader, and although there are groups of words and phrases which will always be offensive, there are words or phrases that should be avoided simply because they COULD be offensive. If in doubt, don’t! While it has created some funny moments, spell check can have the vocabulary of a “pagan sailor”. Read what you post, after you “post it” to save yourself some embarrassing comments. If you do make a major blunder, delete the whole comment (don’t brag about it).

What other suggestions do you have for guarding your Christian testimony on Facebook?