Dark Sayings of Old (and a Free Devotional eBook)
Guest post by Imperfect Homemaker contributor Ellen (my mom!)
What do I want to leave my children and grandchildren when I leave this present world?
It would be nice to leave them a few riches in material goods, but I don't know how much of that is going to happen. But much more important than that, I want to leave them riches in Christ. I want to leave them a godly legacy.
As I get older, it is more and more clear how little time we have on this earth. I pray that I never take my time with my family for granted for it is the only time I have to show them who Christ is and what He can do for them. I want to live in such a way before them that their desire will be to love and serve Christ whole-heartedly. This is what I read in Psalms 78:1-4: Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done.
Here are some things I ought to do as a parent, grand parent, or instructor, using the examples in the Bible to teach my children truth:
1. Tell them and read to them from God's Word all that He has done. Teach them the holiness of God so that they learn to reverence Him, love Him, and obey Him.
2. Use object lessons to teach them God's truths. My husband was very good at using travel time, play time, dinner time, etc. to take every day happenings and make lessons out of them to teach the truth of God's Word to our children. We are grateful it paid off. As parents we ought to work hard at practicing Deuteronomy 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
3. Don't ever hide these things from my children. Don't be silent about God's goodness by keeping it to myself. Show them from God's Word and through examples in my own life. Show them and tell them of His strength, the works that He has done, and answers to prayer. Praise Him continually before my children and grandchildren. Teach them to teach their children the same. Why? So that generation after generation will know God and who He is and will in turn continue to pass it on to the next generation. Today we see more and more of a generation that does not know God! Is it perhaps that the parents and grandparents neglected to teach it to them? Just suppose that Moses' parents and Daniel's parents and the three Hebrew children's parents had not taught them about God. What might have been different? And what might be different in the future if we faithfully teach our children; one of them may be used of God for “such a time as this”!
(I've recently been reading this story of a woman who left a godly legacy. She was a prayer warrior; she walked by faith, not by sight. She prayed, believed God, and God answered. She was a godly example to her family. You will not be able to put the book down.)
My parents also left us a godly legacy. I saw my mom every morning read her Bible and pray. She was consistent and lived what she learned in front of us. My dad also, if he was not working, was studying his Bible and taking notes. We are privileged to have his Bible notes now and it is just exciting to me to hold them in my hands knowing they are written with his own hand writing. Godly parents are such a treasure and what a treasure to know that we will one day be together again in eternity. Recently, I have been scanning all his notes and putting them into files so they can be shared with all the family. He wrote one study on effectual prayer, which I in turn studied and it was such a blessing to me. It prompted me to write my own notes regarding effectual prayer.
I enjoy writing in journals every day. I keep a daily log of happenings and blessings and thoughts and meditations from God's Word. I do so hoping that one day my children and grandchildren will read about my blessings and the treasures of things God has taught me from His Word; hoping that in turn some of these things will speak to their hearts and help them to grow in grace.
If you have never done so, I encourage you to write down something everyday that is a blessing to you from God's Word, even if it is just a verse. It will keep it in your mind better and who knows but that one day your children or grandchildren will read the things that the Lord has taught you, only to apply them to their own lives.
I am also working on a devotional book in eBook form. You are welcome to sign up to receive the first volume for free! These are just random devotions from my daily time with the Lord; I pray that you will be encouraged with something from God's Word that you can apply to your own life.
What Your Child Needs to Know About Obedience
As mothers, we know we should be teaching children to obey. They need to do what they're told — right?
But are you really training your children to obey, or are you just trying to get them to do what you want them to do?
For example:
You tell your child to clean up their room. 5 minutes later you come by and they are still sitting in the floor doodling with a toy. You say it a little more firmly, “I SAID clean your room!” A few minutes later and there might be one thing put away. You say even louder “Clean your room NOW!”
“Ooh, mom's starting to get louder now. She's starting to get more serious about this.”
When you repeat yourself over and over and your children know that you don't really mean business until you get loud enough, you are not really teaching them to obey. You are teaching them to stay out of trouble.
They are not doing what they're told for the right reasons.
Do you want your children to obey because God says so and because they want to please him, or do you want them to obey because they might get in trouble if they don't?
What will happen to them when they're adults and there is no one there to correct them when they make a wrong choice?
The motivation for teaching your children to obey should be so that they can learn to be Godly adults. Training children that all they need to do is to stay out of trouble is setting them up for disaster further down the road. You'll end up with a teenager (and later an adult) who has the mindset that he can do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't get caught.
I don't think that's what you want.
So what should you do?
First, you should teach them from the Scriptures why they need to obey. If you need a resource to guide you, the Obedience Bible Study from Not Consumed is very good and includes interactive ideas to reinforce what you're teaching your kids. You can purchase it here.
Second, you should show your children by your actions that staying out of trouble is not the goal. Don't let them disobey until you get angry or frustrated enough to finally discipline them. Expect obedience the first time they're told, and administer the appropriate correction as soon as they disobey.
Do you need to work on correcting your children right away? Are you concerned that neglecting to do so may harm them spiritually?
What I’m Learning About Training Children from an Olive Tree
I cannot tell you how frustrated I get sometimes as I try to train my children and teach them to love and obey God.
Sometimes they do the same dumb things over and over and over.
I find myself crying out to God “Why don't they get it???!”
Our pastor was preaching Sunday morning from Psalm 128 where God paints a portrait of his design for the family.
I went home with tons of food for thought, but this section right here especially encouraged me:
Psalm 128:3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
Pastor went on to explain a little of his research on olive plants and why God would have given that description of children in the home. I have also done a little poking around since then, and it is very obvious that God used that description for a reason! The idea of children being like olive plants is absolutely loaded!
This little study of olive plants has been a huge blessing to me as a mother, and I want to share my thoughts here in hopes it will be a blessing to you as well!
The first thing I learned is that before an olive tree is ever planted it can take up to 12 months just to prepare the soil.
Olive tree lesson #1: I cannot train my children to love and obey the Lord if I have not prepared myself first.
I need to be spending time in God's Word and prayer. I need his wisdom. I need to have a thorough knowledge of the scripture so that I will always be ready with the right Scriptures to apply in the situations in which my children find themselves.
Once planted, the olive tree has to be protected from small animals that could damage it. The weeds also need to be kept under control so that they do not steal the nutrition that the tree needs to thrive.
Olive tree lesson #2: I must guard my children from outside influences that can harm them spiritually. My children's spiritual welfare is more important than offending someone who may not be the best influence. Their wishes about what they want to watch or listen to don't really matter. It is my job to protect them spiritually. (See also: Protecting Your Child From the Devil.)
One olive gardening site had a set of FAQ's where the first question was “How much work is involved?” The answer was simply “Plenty!” It is normal for an olive gardener with just a small grove to put in at least 60 hours a week tending to his trees.
Olive tree lesson #3: If I want my children to become mature, fruit-bearing adults, I must give them time. And lots of it.
I cannot expect my children to turn out right if I do not put in the work. And all my efforts to train them in the principles of God's Word are not going to sink in if they do not first know how much I love them. And they will not know how much I love them until I prove it by how much of my time and attention I devote to them.
A very simple concept regarding olive trees is that they will die without sufficient water.
Olive tree lesson #4: My children need the water of the Word daily.
I can tell them “do this”, “do that”, “don't do this” and “don't do that” all I want, but my own words are not good enough. They need the power of the Word of God, which is sharper than any two-edged sword. If I teach my children to do or not do certain things because *I* say so, they don't have a good enough reason to do right. They need to do right because God says so. I must constantly point them to the Word of God through daily Bible reading, memorization, and application of God's Word in every situation.
When it comes to sun, olive trees thrive in full sun.
Olive tree lesson #5: If I want my children to thrive, they must constantly have the light of Christ shining on them through me.
If I want my children to learn to love Christ, they need to be able to see his loveliness through my example. If their mother, who claims to love God, is always yelling and saying ugly words, why would they want to have anything to do with Him? (See also: The Law of Kindness.)
When it comes to the question of “Will my kids ever get it? Will they ever put into practice the things I've been teaching them?” I have been encouraged tremendously to become aware of the fact that the peak fruit production years for an olive tree are between 30 and 70 years of age. When carefully tended, they can bear fruit at around 5-10 years, but not nearly the amount of fruit as when they are in their peak years.
Likewise, I cannot expect my children to be producing the fruit of spiritual maturity while they are still children! There will be moments when I can see some of the results of my labor, but the bulk of the fruit will come when they are grown.
Olive Tree Lesson #6: Maturity can't be rushed.
When my kids act like children, I need to remember that it's because they are! I can't let myself get discouraged at the seemingly slow progress!
Additionally, maturity will not happen if consistent care and tending is not given to the olive plant.
What if the olive gardener decided that his young trees were just not bearing fruit quickly enough for his liking and decided to stop tending to them or only cared for them half-heartedly. That would be foolish. He would eventually end up with a grove of full-grown olive trees, but it would be a fruitless mess.
Olive tree lesson #7: Children who grow up to bear fruit for the Lord must receive consistent care and tending.
I as a parent cannot give half-hearted attention to my little seedlings or I'm going to end up with children that grow up to be a fruitless mess.
Perhaps this is one reason why children of seemingly good, Godly people go astray. Out of weariness or frustration, the parents assume that their efforts are futile and allow their child to choose their own path instead of continuing to help influence the direction that child faces.
An olive gardener has to start from the very beginning of a seedling's life to train the tree into the shape he desires. Allowing the tree to grow into whatever shape it may will make it very difficult for the gardener to harvest any fruit that does grow.
The olive gardener has to prune the tree to shape it into the form that will be its structure for life.
Olive tree lesson #8: The shape of my children's entire lives is being determined right now by me as the parent. It is up to me to point them in the right direction.
Extensive pruning, however, can actually do more harm than good to a young olive tree. One olive gardening manual warns that “A determination to form the perfect shape by excessive pruning will weaken the young tree and stunt its growth for a number of years.” For this reason, olive growers do not do much pruning at all for the first 4 or 5 years of a tree's life. The only shoots that should be eliminated are those that compromise the definitive shape of the plant.
Olive tree lesson #9: Nitpicking at my children is only going to discourage them and make them feel like it's pointless to even try. The only thing I should be removing from my children's lives are those things that are actually going to point them in the wrong direction.
Do you discipline harshly for childish things like forgetting to put clothes in the hamper or make their bed? Yes, they need to do those things out of obedience, but sometimes children genuinely forget these things and aren't being purposely rebellious. Gentle reminders will do more good than giving them the 3rd degree for every minor offense.
Although very minimal pruning should be done in the early years of an olive tree, it is important, however, for shoots competing with the main stem to be eliminated to promote its growth.
Olive tree lesson #10: The removal of life-draining activities from my children's lives is good for them and will promote spiritual growth.
How much time do your children spend watching TV, playing pointless video games, or talking to ungodly friends? These things are stealing valuable spiritual nutrients from your children and need to be removed if you want them to be strong and healthy spiritually.
Once an olive tree reaches its peak fruit-bearing years, it will bear an incredible amount of fruit each year as long as it continues to be properly watered and pruned.
Olive tree lesson #11: Faithful parenting will bring great joy when my children are grown.
How wonderful it will be to see my adult children producing fruit for the Lord! Yes, these little years require lots of time, patience, and plain hard work, but the results will be so worth it!
Olive trees can live up to 200 years. After the trunk disappears, a new shoot begins to grow again, thus continually renewing itself generation after generation.
Olive tree lesson #12: Godly parenting can have results that will last to the end of time.
On the flip side, if I fail to train my children properly and they do not grow up to produce spiritual fruit, I wonder how many generations after me will be negatively impacted?
Friends, this parenting thing is hard work. But we are not alone. God has given us his timeless word to know how to care for these little ones. We must seek his wisdom and faithfully carry out the task he has given us.
I hope you were blessed by this post! Would you take a minute to leave me a comment or share this with other moms you know?
The Law of Kindness – Printable
Guest post from Imperfect Homemaker contributor Andrea.
The Lord has been dealing with me lately about the words I use and the way I speak to my family members. When I get frustrated I often start to tear others down rather than build them up. I express my frustration in my words and my tone. But that is not how the virtuous woman speaks.
Proverbs 31:26 says, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Do you know what a law is? It may be defined in several ways:
- The system of rules that a particular country or community recognizes as regulating the actions of its members and may enforce by the imposition of penalties.
- A statement of fact, deduced from observation, to the effect that a particular natural or scientific phenomenon always occurs if certain conditions are present.
Law. Something that regulates the actions (or words) of its members. Something that always occurs if certain conditions are present. When the virtuous woman opens her mouth, it is always kindness that comes forth. When she speaks, wisdom and kindness always govern her words. There is no deviation. It is a fact, and others can observe it. Her words are kind. That is how I want to speak. I want others to know that when Andrea talks, it will always be kind and uplifting. I want my children to know, by observation, that Mommy will always speak to them with love and kindness – no matter the circumstances, and no matter the offence.
But I also realize that I can't just “remember” to have this kindness true of my words. And I can't just try harder. I've tried to do that, and I fall flat on my face – good intentions and all – every time. This is something that only God can do through me. I am so thankful that He has already provided the victory for me to conquer my unkind words. All I have to do is choose to walk in it. He can take my flesh-filled attitudes and words and transform them into a sweet savour.
I have been asking the Lord to remind me to use kindness when I speak. To help me remember, I created a printable of Proverbs 31:26. It hangs on the center cupboard in my kitchen – a place where I spend a good portion of my time each day. I look up and I reminded to have the law of kindness in my tongue.
Imperfect Homemaker subscribers have access to this printable and many other resources for Christian homemakers. To download your copy, subscribe below (or enter your email address again if you're already a subscriber) and you'll immediately see the download link appear right here.
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More posts on Christian motherhood:
Dear Moms Everywhere
Dear Mom on the iPhone: I have no idea why you're on your iPhone. Let's just remember that our children see our love by the attention we give to them. But they also need to know that the world doesn't revolve around them. It's okay to let your kids play by themselves sometimes. Just use your phone wisely.
Dear Mom Not on her iPhone: I'm glad you're giving your kids your undivided attention. I really am. But please don't think less of the moms who use their phones at the playground. It's not our job to make sure everyone else is a perfect parent; we only need to worry about ourselves.
Dear Mom Who Breastfeeds Her Babies: It's a wonderful thing with so many benefits. Perhaps it was easy; perhaps you had to overcome some obstacles. Either way, I'm glad it's working out for you.
Dear Mom Who Doesn't Breastfeed: Maybe you were not able to breastfeed, or maybe you simply chose not to. That's really up to you. I know no one loves your kids more than you and that you're making the decisions you feel are the best fit for your family.
Dear Mom Who Feeds Her Kids Organic Food: I'm so glad you're caring for your children the best you possibly can!
Dear Mom Who Doesn't Feed Her Kids Organic Food: I'm so glad you're caring for your children the best you possibly can too!
Dear Mom Who Had a Natural Birth: Great job! It's hard work!
Dear Mom Who Didn't Birth Naturally: Great job! It's still hard work!
Dear Mom Who Adopted: Awesome job! I've heard it's really hard work!
Dear Moms Everywhere
We're all so different. Our circumstances and philosophies are as varied as the spectrum of colors. But one thing we all have in common.
We will all fail at this motherhood thing without help and wisdom from above.
So whether you're rich, poor, crunchy, modern, supermom or tired mom, I can tell you one thing you need to be doing every day.
You need to be down on your knees, begging God to give you wisdom as you train these little souls. You need to be searching His word for His advice. Then follow it and don't worry about what anyone else has to say.
These little lives are too important for you to be pressured by your peers or even by some blogger you don't even know to parent your children a certain way. You only have one person to Whom you answer, and that is God. Have you thought much about what He thinks?
Perhaps you spend hours scouring the internet to help you make the best decision regarding vaccinations, co-sleeping, or babywearing. Perhaps you follow lots of bloggers who will tell you how to stop a tantrum in its tracks, how to stop yelling at your kids, or how to get your children to stop stalling at bedtime.
How many of those hours have you spent on your knees?
We're talking about eternal souls here. Eternal souls for which we are responsible! What an incredible task!
Your pastor spends hours each week preparing to preach his messages. An evangelist would be foolish to go out evangelizing without adequate preparation. A missionary spends months and even years learning a new language and culture so that he can effectively win the lost to Christ.
But how much preparation do you as a mother put into the days you spend with these little souls?
Dear Moms Everywhere,
You are entrusted with a monumental task. To fulfill it well, you must daily seek wisdom and strength from the One who has entrusted you with that task. There will be many challenges and obstacles to overcome. But no sacrifice will be too great to make on behalf of the precious souls that are in your care. If you are going to err, may it be on the side of thinking more about the eternal and less about the trivial.
God bless you on your journey!
How to Be Your Kids’ Hero When You’re Not the Supermom Type
Pinterest is fabulous. It's a treasure trove of incredible ideas.
But many times the ideas you find are completely unrealistic for normal people.
It may seem like every good mom makes teddy-bear shaped pancakes for her kids to eat for breakfast. It may seem like every good mom carefully plans out complicated crafts for her kids on a regular basis. It may seem like your children are missing out because you've never made a homemade water blob or braided your daughter's hair like a princess.
Let me tell you something. Most of the moms I know are happy to stick a piece of toast in front of their kids and call it good. Doing a craft means pulling out the construction paper and some crayons (markers only if mom's in a really good mood). Homemade water blobs? Sorry kids, not that, but you might be allowed to play in the sprinkler if I have any clean towels for you to dry off with afterward. And the hair thing? In the amount of time it would take me to watch enough YouTube videos to figure out how to do that, you will have outgrown the desire to have your hair braided like a princess anyway.
But it is still possible to do fun stuff with your kids even if you are regular old, plain jane, boring type of mom.
Here are some ideas of fun things to do with your kids when you don't have 3 hours to assemble craft supplies or watch youtube videos about doing girl's hair.
1. Go outside and play with them. Play with a stick, a ball, a bike, anything. Your kids will be thrilled to have you outside giving them your full attention. No homemade water blobs required.
2. Read books to them. When I was growing up I loved nothing more than for my mom to read to me — and I learned to read and write before I ever started kindergarten. Regardless of what you might learn from Pinterest, children can learn to read and write without creating letters out of playdough, cutting their sandwiches into letter shapes, and tracing letters in the sand. (I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those learning activities, but if you're the non-supermom type, rest assured that snuggling your child in your lap with a book is just as exciting and educational for them.)
3. Buy store-bought treats. Guess what? Your kids will like fruit snacks from the store every bit as much as the homemade ones you saw on Pinterest. (Disclaimer: the homemade ones are probably more healthy, but you can find store-bought organic options without a lot of nasty additives — like these.) The secret is to make treats be…well…treats. If you give your kids treats every single day it's no longer a treat and they will always be wanting something bigger and better. But when a treat is really a treat, you will absolutely make your kids' day when you bring home something fun from the store. (And their health will be a lot better off too.)
4. Let them help you cook. You have to cook anyway, so you might as well let the kids join you. You'll be getting dinner made and spending time with your kids all at the same time. Cutting cheese slices into animal shapes won't be necessary, as it will be all the fun your kids need just to be with you, feeling all grown up about cooking. Not sure what the teeny tiny ones can do to help? Here are 10 ways kids can help in the kitchen. If you want some more in-depth info, Laura at Heavenly Homemakers has a couple great e-books: “What to do With Your Kids in the Kitchen” and “Teaching Your Kids to Cook“, or this 12 Week Cooking With Kids Curriculum is awesome!
5. Do crafts together. Personally, I think a kid gets a kick out of doing crafts regardless of complicated they are. The opportunity to use scissors and glue puts a smile on my kids' face. There are hundreds of incredible craft ideas on Pinterest, but many of them make me shudder at the thought of trying to help my kids complete them without their having a meltdown that their melted crayon art didn't turn out exactly as they'd hoped.
image via craftfail.com
Instead of going for the super-complicated crafts on Pinterest, keep it simple. Your kids will probably actually enjoy it more anyway due to their short attention spans, and you'll be a lot less stressed.
Oh, and if you want to spend a few dollars to take even more stress out of the whole craft thing (can you tell I'm not the crafty kind of mom?), you'll want to take advantage of this free box from Kiwi Crate! This is one of those things that will make you look like supermom without your having to do any work. I normally wouldn't spend extra money on stuff like this, but when you only pay $3.95 for the cost of shipping, I say it's worth it to do something that your kids will think is totally cool! (Just please don't forget to cancel your subscription after you receive your free box – unless you want to keep the subscription of course.) You can get that free box here.
All right, you other non-supermoms – what other ideas can you share? What makes your kids' day without giving you gray hair in the process?
Oh, yes. I'd be bad not to mention this book that is a lifesaver for so many frazzled moms who are trying to get a little housework done without kids making messes behind them as they go. And of course, these are all non-supermom activities! Get more details here, or get it now:
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