3 Characteristics of a Godly Father
I realize this is a blog for homemakers, and therefore there may not be a whole lot of fathers reading this. You can share this post for the fathers in your life to read, or you can use it to pray these things for them.
As I mentioned in my Characteristics of a Godly Mother post, I was blessed with Godly parents, and have learned so much about parenting through watching their lives.
I wanted to take the time to share some of the things that my own dad did right.
1. He admitted when he was wrong.
No one on this entire earth is perfect, and that includes my father. When he made a mistake, he was willing to admit it. He didn't try to pretend that nothing was wrong. Instead he apologized when he'd lost his temper or failed to walk in the Spirit. Instead of thinking less of him for making mistakes, we children learned valuable lessons from those instances. We saw by example how to handle our own failures – by confessing our sin, getting up and going forward rather than trying to cover things up.
2. He was submitted to the Holy Spirit.
It was obvious to me even as a child that my dad was humbly submitted to the Holy Spirit's work in his heart. I watched him study scripture, pray, learn, grow, and change. Wherever God led him, he followed. He still does to this day. I enjoy having conversations with him about what we are both studying in scripture and what the Holy Spirit is revealing to us through it.
What better way for a father to encourage his children to walk with the Lord than to focus on his own relationship with God?
3. He was a nurturer.
When I think of what a Godly father should be, I immediately think of Ephesians 6:4, which is directed specifically to fathers:
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The word “nurture” brings to my mind the idea of a tender plant. In order for that plant to grow and thrive, the caretaker must tend to it regularly — pulling weeds, watering, fertilizing. It requires lots of time and careful attention, and neglecting it will either cause it to die or at least come close to it.
My dad paid careful attention to his children, always finding time to play with us and listen to us. Because of that fact, his tender plants grew and thrived. A father who berates, ignores, or makes his children feel unimportant will find that they will wilt. But a father who encourages and tends to the hearts of his children will strengthen them.
So, while my dad wasn't perfect a perfect human, these are some of the things that impacted me as a child and that I still appreciate about him today.
I am thankful that I had such a loving father who pointed me to the loving heart of God!
My dad with my little boy
I Am Blessed With a Beautiful Mess
Every day I face mountains.
Mountains of laundry.
Mountains of dishes.
Mountains of exhaustion, frustration, and confusion.
Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done.
Last night my husband took the kids out for a couple hours, and I had a quiet house to myself. (Well, I had the baby with me, but she seems like no work at all when you're used to three other tornadoes in the house!)
You would think I would have enjoyed the quiet. Having a chance to go to the bathroom without having to referee sibling bickering through the door should be blissful, right?
But you know who the happiest person was for those kids to get home?
Me!
I hardly knew what to do with myself while they were gone! I was (dare I say it?) bored!
You see, while they are a challenge to face each day, every one of those mountains in my home is beautiful.
Those mountains of laundry represent a little boy who is full of healthy curiosity about the world God made. They represent siblings playing outside with one another, climbing trees, playing on the swing set, and picking honeysuckle together.
I want these to be the memories my kids have of home; not of how mom was always complaining about how hard they made her work.
Those mountains of dishes represent meals around the family table, talking and laughing together. The discussions about how to read the clock on the kitchen wall will all too soon turn into discussions about how their college classes are going. I don't want to waste precious memories that will pass too quickly by spending my time focusing on the dirty dishes.
The mountains of exhaustion, confusion, and frustration represent long days teaching children how to be kind, responsible, honest, and obedient, even when they are not the most cooperative students.
But each “Yes, ma’am” that I hear brings a renewed energy and determination to work diligently so that one day those “Yes, ma’am”s will turn to “Yes, Lord”s.
And one day when I see my grown children living a life for God’s glory, I will look back and reflect on this beautiful mess that defines my life as a young mother. And I will declare that every mountain I scaled was worth the effort ten times over.
Thoughts on the Sacrifice of Motherhood
The following is a guest post by Imperfect Homemaker contributor Andrea.
The Lord has really been working in my heart recently about one specific area of motherhood: sacrifice. I don’t even feel qualified to write about it because many days I kick against the sacrifice involved in rearing my little people. But as the Lord has continued drawing my heart, I am realizing the incredible privilege and reward involved in being a sacrificial mother.
Most moms are self-sacrificing for their children. I was blessed with a godly mother who sacrificed day in and day out to stay home with her three children, homeschooling all of us from kindergarten to graduation, cooking for us, cleaning up after us, and much more that I am sure I will never fully realize. And while I knew that being a mom involved these kinds of sacrifices, I didn’t truly understand the full extent of it until I was knee deep in the trenches of motherhood myself.
Especially if you have little people in your home, I’m sure the sacrifice seems very real. I know – I have four kids, ages four and under. Sometimes I think they wait for my head to hit the pillow and then they start crying. I am usually the last one to sit down to eat, and often my meal is cold by the time I get to it. Just when I finished the breakfast dishes there is a pile of lunch dishes to wash. I can change bed sheets pretty quickly – I do it nearly every morning right now on at least one bed/crib. Some days I feel like I discipline for the same thing all day long. The laundry and floors are two things that are never clean! Yes – motherhood is sacrifice.
Many times I have struggled with all that I have to do, all that I need to do, and how fast the time seems to fly away. I have lamented to my husband that I never get to scrapbook anymore, or that I just spent all day cleaning the house only to have it messy again at bedtime, or that I am so tired from being up several times in the night with sick children. Sometimes I just want a little time for myself. Sometimes I just wish I could stop and take a vacation from mothering. But then the Lord reminds me: motherhood is sacrifice.
This point was really brought home to me when I came face to face with these facts. Did you ever stop to consider that your child is an eternal soul? That one day – he/she will spend all of eternity in either heaven or hell? If that is not sobering enough, consider that your child is entrusted to you for the first 20-ish years of this eternal existence. And then consider the fact that we only get one chance at this mothering thing. We can’t put it off until later or a more convenient time, we can’t start in when they are a teenager and hope to fix all the problems, and we can’t go back and do it over a different way.
I had never seen parenting from that perspective before. I get to be the one to influence and raise my children for the first 20-ish years of their eternal existence. My children are really the only thing I can take with me when I die. The house? It stays here. The money? It will be left to someone else. The scrapbooks/hobbies? They will probably end up in the garbage one day. But my kids – I can take them with me for eternity…If I am willing to sacrifice what I want now for what I want my kids to be someday. Because motherhood is sacrifice.
It really comes down to what is most important to me. I could put my kids in day care so that I could pursue a career which will ultimately be of no lasting value. I could be selfish with my time and energy, insisting upon “me time” instead of pouring the Gospel into my children’s lives and living it before them. I can fuss over having a clean house instead of playing with my kids and building life-changing relationships with them. Motherhood is sacrifice.
Now I am not saying you can’t ever have any “me time.” Or that you can’t ever leave your children with someone else. But I am saying we should be willing to sacrifice some of the temporal pleasures and entertainment in order to be the right kind of mother to our children. My scrapbooking can be picked up again when my kids are bigger or on their own. Eventually I will not have a living room full of toys. There will be time for hobbies or pursuits later.
If I neglect my children now for other things which I deem to be more valuable, then one day I will be left with empty arms and fading accomplishments. But if I sacrifice temporal things now in order to influence my children in their foundational years, then when my kids are grown I will have a full heart and rewards in heaven. Proverbs 22:6 promises, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” When my kids grow up to serve the Lord, I will get to share in that reward because I will have poured my life into discipling them. That is something that is worth the sacrifice in my book.
Mothering is a hard job. It is not for the faint of heart! Many days I earnestly desire to be done with diapers and discipline. But until then I am trying to remind myself that this sacrifice now will bring rewards and benefits far into the future that I cannot even begin to imagine. So be encouraged to keep giving, to keep teaching, to keep sacrificing because your rewards are eternal!
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”
Galatians 6:9
3 Characteristics of a Godly Mother
In spite of the fact that I myself am still learning and working my way through this crazy maze called motherhood, I have been blessed with a Godly role model in the form of my own mother. I want to share with you some characteristics of a Godly mother that I have observed in her life over the years.
1. She was the real deal.
One of the things that I couldn't help but notice even as a child, was that my mom was the same person in public as she was at home. If there is any faster way to turn a child off to the things of the Lord it is to live a hypocritical lifestyle. My mom did not do that, and although she wasn't perfect (no one is), she taught us how to love the Lord by backing up what she said with what she did both at home and in public. A godly mother knows who she is in Christ, and everything she does flows from that. She isn't trying to present a certain image of what she thinks a godly person should look like; she just lives out who she is – a masterpiece created in Christ Jesus for good works! (Ephesians 2:10)
2. She admitted when she had failed.
Every mother fails at motherhood, many times on a daily basis. My mom had her moments of failure too. But a moment of failure does not mean you should give up entirely. “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…” (Prov. 24:16). Instead of giving up when she fell short, or worse yet, pretending it didn't happen, she admitted her failure both to the Lord and to her children. We knew that she desperately wanted us to love and obey God, and God was able to use her because of her humility.
God doesn't bless a perfect parent (because there is no such thing!), but he does bless a humble parent.
The humility of a godly mother takes place on two fronts:
- Humility before God
- Humility towards her children
A mother's humility before God recognizes her own weakness and her need to depend on the spirit of God each moment of the day. A humble mother keeps her focus on God, knowing that she cannot be a godly mother through her own strength and wisdom. She digs into scripture, nurturing her own spirit, knowing that she cannot pour from an empty vessel.
When a mother is humble toward God, there is also a willingness to confess to him when she has messed up and acted out of the flesh rather than the spirit. Mothering from the flesh could show up in different ways. It might look like yelling at our kids in a moment of frustration, or it might look like pridefully patting ourselves on the back after what felt like a successful day. Yet the most successful day in which a mother has operated without dependence on the holy spirit, is a failure to fulfill God's purpose. A godly mother will recognize these failures and confess to God the times when her life has not reflected the new, Christlike nature. She will turn from reflecting the flesh and renew her mind to reflect the spirit.
A mother's humility toward her children might look like apologizing when she has said hurtful words to them.
It might look like being honest with them about her weaknesses and being an example of how to depend on God. (“Mommy is feeling overwhelmed today. Can we pray together that God will help mommy to stay calm and speak kind words?”
3. She prayed – a LOT.
We children all knew mom spent time with the Lord daily. We saw her spiritual journals and notes lying around and watched her read and study her Bible. And we knew she prayed. Along with her journals and notes were her prayer lists.
My mother knew that the best place to wage the battle for her children's hearts was on her knees.
She knew that ultimately her children's lives were not within her control. She knew that each of her children was free to make their own choices. She knew that she was not in charge of the events that her children would encounter each day.
But she knew she had an audience with the One who is in control.
She brought her requests for her children to God, and left our lives in his hands.
She prayed for our safety and health.
She prayed that we would make wise, God-honoring decisions.
She prayed that God would bring godly spouses into our lives.
And while she fulfilled her responsibility to teach the scriptures to her children, she did not attempt to control the outcome of our lives. She allowed the Holy Spirit to do his own work in drawing our hearts to him, and let our choices be our own.
When she was tempted to worry and fear over our safety or our futures, she brought those fears to God and left them there.
So you see, mamas, the characteristics of a Godly mother aren't a standard of perfection. You don't have to be perfect to be a good mother.
It's much better to be a mother who:
- knows who she is in Christ and allows everything she does to flow from that
- humbly depends on God
- brings her fears for her child's welfare and future to the Lord and leaves them with Him
If you desire to see your children grow to love and obey the Lord; if you are the real deal, humble, and 100% dependent on the Lord to work in your children's hearts rather than trying to do the work yourself, you are on the right track.
Be encouraged. When it seems your children aren't learning anything, just you wait. They are watching. And God is working.
What it Means to Be a Yes Mom
Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Savings.com.
Being a “yes mom” doesn't mean letting your kids do whatever they want. They need to understand that life doesn't revolve around them. You don't need to feel guilty for not catering to your child's every whim. That doesn't create happy children; that creates spoiled children.
But at the same time your children need to know that they are important to you — more important than what you want to get done in a day. Sometimes we say no to our children just because it's more convenient to us. Help me cook dinner? No way. I'll be done a whole lot faster if you just let me do it. Read a book to you? Not right now; I've got work to do.
Being a “yes mom” doesn't have to be complicated.
It's not about doing fancy crafts you found on Pinterest (though if you're up to it that's totally awesome.)
It's not about spending lots of money on whatever the latest gadget is that they want.
It's about letting them know by your actions that they are important.
Actions like going outside with them even when you'd rather get some housework done.
Like playing a goofy game they made up. And then playing it again. And again. And genuinely having fun, not because you really want to play the game but because you get to spend time with your kids.
Actions like letting your 6-year-old plant and water his “plant” even though he's probably going to need a bath.
And then letting him use the camera because he really wants to take a picture of his hard work.
It's about letting the kids sit up on the stool and watch me make dinner even though it drives me nuts to have people all up in my space while I'm trying to work.
Do you truly believe that your kids are important? That they are human beings who just happen to live in tiny bodies right now?
How can you show them that they are important?
I'd love for you to use the hashtag #YesMomDay to share your “yes mom” moments on social media!
Free Printable for Mother’s Day
Last year a friend gave me a framed picture for Mother's Day that had this quote on it:
“Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy kids.”
I put that little picture frame on the back of my oven. I had just had the twins, and life was really in a big transition period. Many times I would be standing there at the stove cooking supper, frustrated and overwhelmed with the piles of dishes, the dirty bathroom, and the volume of laundry. I would see that quote and be reminded about what is truly important – how I am raising my children. It helped me not to feel so guilty during those months when I simply didn't have enough time or enough hands!
I was very sad when my picture accidentally fell into the pot of french fry oil and was ruined! I made another one, and I thought you might enjoy it too! I created several different colors so hopefully you can find one that works for you! (Each one is an 8×10 jpg file).
And although it's not required, I'd love for you to sign up for my newsletter so I can send you a quick email when I have something awesome I think you'll want to know about! There are lots more homemaking freebies in the works on this here blog!