13 Things I Want My Son to Learn Before He Turns Thirteen

Right now my oldest son is seven years old. Those years have flown by, and he will be a teenager before I know it! Very soon he'll be at the age where doing things just because mommy said so isn't going to be what motivates him. He's going to want to know all the answers and make his own choices. I want to do all I can to prepare him for that season of his life. And if I don't have clear goals in mind I'm not going to do very well at reaching them. I sat down and came up with this list of thirteen things I want my son to learn before he turns thirteen. This is what I'll be aiming toward as I teach him and pray for him.

Do I expect he'll have all of this down perfectly? Somehow I doubt it. (I'm still practicing some of them myself!) But I hope to at least have him headed down the right path. I'm not going to be content with leaving him to fend for himself when it comes to developing Godly character.

1. Fulfill Responsibility

When my son is given a job to do, he needs to learn how to set his mind to doing it. He needs to learn to say no to distractions, to quit lollygagging, and just get the job done! By the time he's a teen he'll be starting to think about getting a job outside of the home. That's not going to work out too well for him if he can't complete his work in a timely manner and do his best.

From scripture: Colossians 3:23

2. Respect Authority

I've been around teenagers enough to know that they're not always thrilled about being told what to do. Grown-ups aren't always “cool” or smart. My son needs to learn now that God has placed authorities in his life for a reason and that they need to be obeyed and treated with respect. (See also: 6 things my kids are not allowed to say to adults)

From scripture: Ephesians 6:1; Hebrews 13:17

3. Trust Mom and Dad

There will most likely be a lot of things my son wants to do that mom and dad are not going to allow. I want to lay a foundation of trust, love, and communication now so that when he is upset about not being allowed to do something he will still know deep down that it's for his own good. I can think of many times as a teenager that I chose to obey even though I was not happy about it. My parents had set up certain boundaries and I knew it was done out of love and for my own protection.

4. Work Hard and Use Initiative

I want my son to do his best in every thing he does; not just doing enough to “get by”. I want to see him excel in his academics, at his work, and in his service for God. I also want to help him learn to be sensitive to work that needs to be done without being told to do it. (A teenager who cleans his own room without being told? Is that possible? I don't know; but that's what I'm going to try to teach him!)

From scripture: Colossians 3:23

5. Tell the Truth

…even when it means he'll get in trouble.

From scripture: Proverbs 12:22; 17:7

6. Choose Good Friends

Choosing the right friends when you're a teeanger can make or break the direction you head in life. So many times a teenager wants to do what's right deep down inside, but they cave to peer pressure and choose a path that dishonors God just so they can be accepted by their friends. I want my son to have friends that will encourage him to do right and not pressure him to make the wrong choices.

From scripture: I Corinthians 15:33

7. Choose Purity

What an impure world we live in! Dirty magazines, nasty advertisements, lewd song lyrics and immodestly dressed women are constantly being flashed before my son's eyes. Combine that with his own sin nature that never leaves him, and the battle is in full force 24/7. I want to help him learn how to turn his eyes away from temptation and battle lustful thoughts with the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. If he can practice now before his physical passions arise in full force, he will be ahead of the game. I want to make turning his eyes away such a habit that he will do it without even thinking about it. As far as replacing lustful thoughts; I can't know what's in his mind, but we are teaching him to do this with every aspect of life, such as if he's angry with a sibling. He should replace the angry thoughts with something good and wholesome. If he can learn to do this with other things he can learn to do it when it comes to lust also.

I Timothy 4:12

8. Protect his Siblings

At the moment I was typing this I looked up to see my son dash after his baby sister. She was headed toward a piece of metal she saw in the yard and he did not want her to get cut on it. I want my son to learn to be a protector of his wife and family. What better way for him to learn than to protect his siblings?

I don't want him to be afraid to stand up for them if someone is bullying them. I want him to warn them if they are making choices that will have undesirable consequences. I want him to chase guys away from his sisters who are trying to woo them for purely selfish reasons.

9. Have a Personal Relationship with God

Without a personal relationship with God, all these other things are just making my son into a “nice person.” I want him to understand first of all that he cannot be good without being endued with the righteousness of Jesus Christ. Since he already professes faith in Christ for salvation, I want him to understand that he also needs to trust Christ for daily spiritual victory. I want him to understand that Christianity is not about following a list of rules; it's about having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and walking in obedience to him out of love. Learning to please God rather than just mom and dad will help my son do right whether mom and dad are around or not.

From scripture: I John 4:19; Romans 6:11

(See also: Helping Young Children Develop Their Own Relationship with God)

10. Treat Others Gently

Little boys are rough! I want to help my son learn to channel his endless energy into worthwhile pursuits. He needs to learn to release his energy only where appropriate and control himself when the situation requires it. Right now he is really good at just mowing people over or even pushing his siblings out of the way when he's focused on getting to a certain toy, running to a certain spot in the yard, or (cringe) trying to get past an elderly lady in the aisle at church. I want him to understand that a real man doesn't display his strength just by being the biggest, baddest, and most energetic. A real man best displays his strength when he can keep it under control. A real man uses his strength to help the elderly lady to her seat. A real man displays his strength by handing the toy to his sibling when he wants more than anything to play with it. A real man holds himself under control and chooses to walk indoors when he really wants to run and jump and play. A real man stops to help his little sister tie her shoe when his friends are starting a basketball game without him. A real man takes his focus off himself, slows down when he's going too fast, and stops to apologize and help someone up if he accidentally knocks them down.

From Scripture: Galatians 5:23 (meekness is a fruit of the spirit)

11. Choose Joy.

I'm not sure what makes teenagers grouchy sometimes, but it sure seems like that's a common characteristic! (I know I had my own share of grouchy moments as a teen!)

I'm sure changing hormones, changing nutritional needs, changing sleep needs, and confusing emotions all play a part, but I want my son to understand that joy is a choice, not a feeling.

From scripture: Philippians 4:4

12.Take Care of his Body and Exercise Self-control

“When I get older and have my own car and my own job, I'm going to go eat at Hardee's, Bojangles, Jack-in-the-Box, and Little Caesar's all I want! I'm going to eat hamburgers, pork chop biscuits, pizza, soda, and milkshakes.”

Yes, this is what my son aspires to once he gains a little more freedom.

Lovely.

I can't tell you how many times my mother told me as a teen, “You're going to pay for that someday,” as I stuffed my face with yet another piece of pizza or another helping of ice cream. I never paid for it with my weight, but I am continuing to pay the price with my health. I didn't take care of my body when I was younger, and my undisciplined choices have taken an unpleasant toll.

I want my son to understand that his body belongs to the Lord and that, while junk food tastes good, overindulging does not honor the Lord. The fact that his teenage body doesn't seem to be affected for the time being does not make it right.

From scripture: I Corinthians 6:19-20

13. Be Longsuffering and Forgiving

Sibling bickering between teens can sometimes be worse than bickering between younger children. The issues become bigger than just “You took the toy I wanted!” Instead teens are upset about the other sibling's half of the room being a mess, the fact that they won't leave them alone when they're hanging out with their friends, the fact that the other sibling won't keep their music turned off while they're trying to do their homework, or the fact that their brother borrowed their favorite shirt without permission.

Teenagers have a lot to forgive sometimes, whether it be annoying things their siblings have done or the hurtful way their friends made fun of their hairstyle.

I want my son to learn how to make the choice to forgive a sibling over a broken toy so that he will know how to forgive the deeper hurts that will no doubt occur as he gets older.

From scripture: Ephesians 4:32; Galatians 5:22

(See also: Dealing with Sibling Rivalry in the Christian Home)

Can you think of anything you would add to this list?

Strawberry Overnight Oatmeal

I don't know about you, but breakfast is one of the hardest meals to prepare at our house.  It seems like by the time I get everything made and cleaned up it's almost time for lunch.  Preparing this strawberry overnight oatmeal the night before will mean you have breakfast ready to go in the morning!  And the fresh, spring-time taste will be sure to delight your family!

Ingredients
1/2 C greek yogurt
½ C Old fashioned Oats
1/4 C Almond Milk (or other milk)
¼ tsp cinnamon (optional)
Fresh strawberries for topping

Directions

Empty the yogurt into a jar or Tupperware that has a lid on it.
Add almond milk and stir.
Then stir in oats a little at a time.
Sprinkle cinnamon and stir again.
Cover jar or Tupperware with lid and give it a shake.
Refrigerate overnight.
Top with fresh strawberries and enjoy!

Mothering the Way God Made You

“You're special. God made you like no one else in the world!” That's what we want our children to understand, isn't it?

Yet why do we as their mothers often try to be someone else?

We feel we're not good enough if we're not doing this or that activity with them. We feel worthless if our house is not clean enough or supper isn't nutritious enough or if we didn't spend time doing a certain activity with our kids. We can't do that Pinterest-worthy craft very well, but somehow we think it makes us a bad mom if we don't, so we try it anyway and end up frustrated and grouchy.

Many times moms create in their imagination a vision of “the perfect mom” and then try to live up to it. When we inevitably fail at this impossible task, our shoulders stoop in defeat. Is that what you want for your children? To live in a cycle of perpetual defeat from trying to be someone they're not? But we're training them by our own actions that that's what life is all about.

Instead of being discouraged when you don't live up to your standard of perfect mom, be thankful God made you who you are!

Be thankful you still think your kids are adorable even when they're not dressed in the latest clothing styles with coordinating hairbows.

Be glad you love them enough to wash their clothes for them – even if you did have to frantically dig through the laundry basket for a matching pair of socks five minutes before you left the house.

Be thrilled that their bellies are full even though their food in no way resembled the cute bento-box lunch you saw on Pinterest.

“Our joy can't be found in comparison, but in living out our strengths.”
I've been reading through the book Mothering From Scratch, and although I can't completely endorse every word of the book, I have still found it a huge encouragement in my motherhood journey.

The thoughts I've written above were inspired by one of the chapters in the book. One thing the chapter said that is so true, but I so often fail to remember is this:

“Our energy replenishes itself easily when we're working out of our strengths. It also erases competition. When we appreciate our own strengths and personalities and are comfortable with ourselves, we can better apreciate the strengths of others and draw on them.”

 

Instead of constantly trying to do the things we're not good at – and wear ourselves out and add to our insecurity in the process – we need to focus on what we are good at.

The rest of the chapter goes on to give a number of ways we can deal with the parts of our lives that are not our strengths. There are ways we can get good at things if we are willing to step out of our comfort zone. There are times we can simply ask others to step in and help fill the gaps. There are times when the perceived “gap” in our lives is not truly something that needs to be filled and we can simply choose not to worry about it.

Whatever the case, let's stop trying to be someone we're not. Let's fully embrace who God made us to be and experience the freedom and joy that comes when we loose ourselves from unrealistic ideals.

You can find the book Mothering From Scratch here. I know you will gain much encouragement from it!

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Teaching Reading Made Easy

Teaching Reading Made Easy is a guest post by Meeghan at Sight and Sound Reading.

It is easier than you think to teach reading. I always used to think that teaching someone to read would be a challenging experience. I never imagined my mother would prove to me it is actually very simple. This is the story of how I taught my daughter to read…

I have moved all of my homeschooling posts to christianhomeschoolfamily.com. You can go here to read this post at the new site.

You can go here to read this post at the new site.

5 Ways to Save Money With a Smartphone

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ChangingPrepaid #CollectiveBias

Up until now I've not had a smartphone because I didn't see it as a necessary expense.  Yes, it's nice to have, but I didn't want to pay the monthly expenses for it.  Now, thanks to T-Mobile Simply Prepaid™  I have found an affordable way to have a smartphone plan.  But I didn't want to stop there!  If I'm going to have this phone, I'm going to make it earn its keep!

I've been researching the best ways to save money with a smartphone, and I'm sharing my favorite tips here!

1. Get a good deal

If I'm shopping for a new coat or a new set of pots and pans and I happen to find a great price on one while I'm out shopping, I can use a price comparison app like RedLaser, ShopSavvy, or the Amazon app to scan the barcode on an item and see if it's cheaper anywhere else.

2. Score the cheapest parking

I don't live in the city where I would need this tip on a regular basis, but hopefully I'll remember it when we travel. Apps like SpotHero can help you find the cheapest parking spots around a city. Parking a few blocks from the expensive lots can offer some significant savings.

3. Use store coupons

Many stores have their own apps with coupons and special offers. For example, Target’s Cartwheel app allows you to shop sales and coupons and add them to a shopping list. It then creates one barcode hosting all your coupons to scan at checkout.  Some stores will send coupons via text that you can show to the cashier to get a discount on your purchase.  Others have codes you can scan when you walk into the store to get a special offer.

4. Save on gasoline

If you consistently purchase gas at the lowest price, you can save several hundred dollars over the course of a year.  But driving a little ways up the road to check another gas station's prices can actually waste money if it ends up being more expensive there.  That's where an app like GasBuddy comes in very handy!  You can simply type in your zip code and it will tell you which gas station near you has the lowest price.

5. Save on the essentials

It's great to get the best price on big-ticket items, but consistently purchasing everyday items at the lowest price will also do your budget a ton of good! You can find the lowest prices on things you already buy such as groceries, household goods and clothes with apps like Favado.  Checkout51 and Ibotta also give you cash back when you buy certain items.  And Shopkick rewards you just for shopping at certain stores.  Getting a check in the mail for shopping I would normally do anyway sounds like a pretty smart idea to me!

Combined with these money-saving tips, and an affordable, prepaid smartphone, I'm now fitting a smartphone into the budget.

Prepaid plans have the reputation for having slow data or spotty networks, and a less-than-stellar selection of phones.

Introducing Simply Prepaid™ from T-Mobile!

With Simply Prepaid™ you get 4G LTE data on T-Mobile and a great selection of phones.  I got the Samsung Galaxy Avant for myself. I haven't had a ton of time to use it yet, but it seems like it is going to be a great phone!

I easily spotted the T-Mobile Simply Prepaid™ phones at my local Walmart, along with the refill cards.  $40 gave me a month of 4G LTE date with unlimited talk and text.

With the 4G data plan, I'll be able to use all the apps I've mentioned above and save myself a lot of money in ways I haven't previously been able to do!

Here's a video another blogger put together about her experience with a T-Mobile Simply Prepaid™ phone:

Buying service is as easy as purchasing a refill card.  There is no contract, and if you don't want or need phone service one month, you can simply skip out on buying a refill card.

I was honestly a little intimidated at the prospect of getting the phone, activating it, and using the refill cards with it.

I shouldn't have worried.  It was as easy as pie!  All I had to do was go to their website and follow the step-by-step instructions and I was done in a jiffy!

Now I'm good to go!

Do you have any other suggestions for saving money using a smartphone?  Have you ever tried a prepaid phone or would you like to try one?

13 Free Ways to Take Care of YOU

Many women shy away from taking care of themselves because they get the idea that it's selfish.

But you cannot pour anything out of an empty pitcher.  And if YOU are running on empty, you can't pour into the other people around you either.  Taking care of yourself is a very loving thing to do for your family.  It gives them the gift of a peaceful, calm wife and mom instead of a grouchy, irritable mess.

When you're running low on fuel and you need to recharge, it can feel like it's impossible to do anything for yourself.  There's just not enough time or money!

I understand we all can't go out and get ourselves a massage or go shopping at an upscale boutique.  So I've collected some easy, free ideas for you (many of which came from you all via my Facebook page – thanks!) so that you will have some ideas of how you (yes, you with the realistic budget and schedule!) can take care of yourself.

When you're starting to feel irritable it's time to quit folding laundry and thinking about everything on your to-do list and just relax!

Put the kids down for a nap or set them up with an activity they can do independently and try one of these:
1. Take a nap.

2. Soak in an epsom salt bath.

3. Listen to relaxing music.

4. Massage your feet with lotion.

5. Get up a few minutes before your family and enjoy the quiet.  If it's nap time, just sit quietly and rest.

6. Spend time with God.  (See: How to find time for God When You Can Hardly Find Time to Breathe)

7. Read.

8. Take a hot shower.

9. Spend time with a Godly friend, either in person or over the phone.

10. Eat some chocolate.

11. Put on makeup or pretty clothes, paint your nails, etc.

12. Exercise.

13. Write in a journal.

These ideas came from real ladies who have learned the art of self-care.  Did you notice that no one suggested spending more time on the computer or browsing their social media accounts?  The truth is, those things can leave you feeling more tired and discouraged than ever.  You might see all the picture-perfect Pinterest houses and weigh yourself down with the knowledge that your house doesn't look like that.  You might see all your Facebook friends talking about this or that wonderful thing that's happening in their lives and be discouraged that it's not happening to you.  You might see all the horrible news that's taking place in our world and be troubled by it.

Turn it off and just do something quiet.  Don't just rest your body; rest your mind and soul.

 How do you like to take care of yourself? I'd love to hear!